She Believes in Unicorns and Other Fancy Stuff

My 7 year old daughter, Iris, has always believed in magic and all things whimsical. She has held a deep grasp for empathy since she was a toddler and always seemed to have a firm but unexplained understanding of how the world worked.

When Iris was 2 ½ years old, we went to visit my husband’s family in Albuquerque, NM. My husband’s father had passed away 11 years earlier. We had only prior to this showed Iris a picture of her deceased grandpa and told her, “That’s your Papa Bency.” We did not tell her he was gone or even bring him up when we went to see my husband’s mom. When we arrived in Albuquerque at Grandma Ramona’s house, Iris immediately said, “Papa Bency is here.” We all eyed each other quizzically, got goose bumps and shrugged our shoulders.

As the week long visit went on, we noticed Iris constantly talking to herself. We asked who she was talking to and it was always…”Papa Bency”. One day we heard the front door creak, no one was there and Iris said, “Papa Bency just got here for the party.” We did indeed have a party that night with 40-50 family members! As our trip came to an end, we asked Iris what her favorite part of the vacation had been. We thought for sure she was going to say the aquarium visit or playing with one of her 25 cousins but her response was simple and matter of fact…”playing with Papa Bency.”

We haven’t had a chance to travel back to Albuquerque since then, and Papa Bency never “appeared” at our house.


Iris and I at the Albuquerque aquarium when she was 2 1/2


When Iris turned 3 years old, she had two steadfast friends join her life. Lydia and Mango were her imaginary friends. They occasionally joined us at the dinner table but mainly stayed up in the attic crawl space I converted into a play area for Iris. The stories Iris told me about them were so detailed. She described what they wore; how they did their hair; what they talked about and was even sad when one of them got sick and couldn’t play one day. The stories were so believable it made me almost want to check the crawl space a few times to confirm they were only imaginary. When Iris was 4 years old she came to me very sad. She said, “Lydia and Mango have died. They were in a terrible accident.” Iris’s only outside influences were Sesame Street and Dora the Explorer. We had never talked about death or “terrible accidents.” Unfortunately, Lydia and Mango never joined us at the dinner table again.


Iris playing in the hide out with her brother when she was 3 1/2


In the past two years, Iris has acquired a strong belief in unicorns and two more new friends. Iris knows not everyone believes in unicorns but it does not deter her in any way. She scoffs at their disbelief and is on the constant search for these beautiful beasts to prove everyone wrong. She is currently saving all of her money to afford a trip to the magical forest where she believes they all reside. Her new friends are the Bedtime Fairy and the Tooth Fairy. They are actually just pen pals as she actually has never seen them. She writes to them religiously and though the fairies are sometimes delayed in responding (mainly because they don’t know they have an awaiting letter), they ALWAYS answer back. Iris has learned through her correspondence what their nicknames are, their favorite colors, their birthdays, their ages and that the Tooth Fairy just got a boyfriend named Cupid.

Iris delights me, challenges me and makes my world amusing and fanciful. I miss the days of “Papa Bency, Lydia and Mango.” It seems those days were here and gone in a blink of the eye. I’m cherishing every minute I have watching her wonderment in unicorns and her “friendship” with the fairies. Before I know it, they may all be gone too.


Iris on her 7th birthday


note to the Bedtime Fairy telling her she just got her ear pierced and she was nervous and excited. It hurt a little then it stopped.


Tooth Fairy pillow that Nana made her


25 responses

    • Thanks! The names did freak me out. At three years old, your world is so limited…especially about names. We didn’t know a Lydia, it wasn’t a character in show she watched or in any of our story books. How do you happen upon Lydia? As for Mango…I think we ate one once. But the weird thing about that too is my sister in Tennessee was unaware of Iris’s imaginary friends and named one of her dog’s Mango shortly thereafter!

      • If it makes you feel better, when I was a kid I named my feet Mildred and Snowy. Don’t ask. I was an only child and it seemed that my feet would be convenient playmates–they followed me where ever I went.

  1. I sure hope you are saving your posts. There is a book there for you or Iris to write, If nothing else, they need to be secreted away so Iris can read them to her own children one day.

  2. I just took notice of the title… Kind of funny, sometimes when I pray, and my life has been on a particular mundane, boring path, I’ll ask God nicely if He could show me something Fancy that day. It’s probably a weird request from God, but He ALWAYS does it for me, it’s usually just a small thing, but always very cool. I’m trying to remember if I asked that of Him anytime yesterday or if what happened this morning He just threw in for kicks…As the dogs were barreling out the door for their 5am potty break, a raccoon strolled right into the house. I think that is Fancy and kind of hilarious….

  3. lol!! It did eventually… But it kept going behind things and under things, Gary got a broom and banged it a little and it finally walked out all nonchalant and slow like a cat. Didn’t act scared at all. It probably thinks it is our pet seeing as it eats Chloe’s food that we have out on the front porch EVERY night, and every night when it returns there is a fresh supply.

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  6. This was a very intriguing post. Don’t know what to make of Grandpa Bency. I certainly would like to think that our deceased relatives are somehow nearby. I loved the letters to the tooth fairy. Iris sounds like my daughter with all her questioning…a fine inquiring mind with great imagination!

    • Yeah, it is definitely a head scratcher. I find it quite baffling. It is definitely a comfort to think they are close by watching over us and of course we’ll never know for sure but it’s moments like this that give us a bit more faith! Thanks for reading!

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  9. Mel thank you for showing me this, indeed I believe that Iris may have a gift, the incidences you have described especially the birthday party and the demise of her ‘friends’ …I feel she must has a strong spiritual side and will be interesting to see if any other events occur….wow!

    • Yes, little things have come up here and there since then that lead me to believe that she still has knowledge of something more than meets the eye! So yes I am a believer that we can connect with people who have passed before us!

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