She Was Thinking About Him

Last week, my 7 year old daughter, Iris came home from school and said she had a sad day.

This was the first time she has ever come home and made this statement so I was very alarmed and immediately asked why.

She said, “I couldn’t stop thinking about Papa Bency (my husband’s Dad). I miss him so much. I was thinking about him all day at school and didn’t even feel like playing at recess.”

My husband walked into the room and asked what we were talking about. When I told him, his jaw dropped. He said he too had been thinking about him all day as well and had not been able to shake it.

The strange thing about this is the fact that Papa Bency passed away 12 years ago and my daughter Iris had never had a chance to meet him.

Papa Bency comes up in conversation occasionally but it had been awhile since we talked about him so there was no real reason he should have been on her mind that day and she herself couldn’t explain what caused her to think about him.

Papa Bency

Papa Bency

My husband who was still in awe that he and his daughter had been having parallel thoughts that day called his mother to tell her.

His mom was surprised too because earlier in the day, one of my husband’s sisters had been talking about how much she missed her Dad and another granddaughter who is also too young to have ever met him expressed her sadness about Grandpa Bency as well the very same day.

Is this all a huge coincidence? I have no idea. No one can know for sure.

In the past week, I have tried to wrap my mind around why four people were all thinking about the same person on the same day. Of course, I couldn’t come up with a concrete answer as to how this occurred.

I realized I didn’t need to know why it happened either.

What I did realize though is that this is a comfort to me.

Whether or not Papa Bency whispered into my daughter’s ear that day and held her hand, I do not know. I don’t know if Papa Bency guided one of his family members out of harm’s way. I don’t know if he helped them understand a problem they were struggling with. It would be nice to think this happened and that there is someone looking out for us and our loved ones.

What I am most comforted by is the fact that our loved ones can live on in our memories and be shared through our stories. That the ones we have lost or never met can always be remembered.

(when Iris was 2 1/2 she also had an experience with Papa Bency that I have posted about before and you can read here.)

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30 responses

  1. How peculiar Mel as you say a coincidence which cannot be explained, perhaps what you think for some reason he was getting every ones thoughts together for a reason.
    It is a lovely thought that those departed are still watching, guiding and drawing the lives they left behind together again with thought. Lovely Post.

    • Thank you! I wish I knew why if there was a reason. Regardless, it’s a warming thought that so many people living far away from each other can be thinking about the same thing on the same day. As peculiar as it is, it is still a comfort!

  2. so sweet that she is sensitive enough to care about and miss someone she never had a chance to meet, especially on a day when others are too. I totally believe our loved ones can see us from heaven and be near us when we need them to.

  3. I do believe in the very real connection of love and thoughts through persons who are close or related on thinking the same things. The very fact you wrote about this shows your families strength in sensitivity, perhaps a way to connect to all your blessings within your ‘living’ strength, smiles and love in the here and now.

  4. My dad passed away when I was 7 months pregnant with my first daughter. It was unexpected and was a devastating blow to me. When Charlotte was younger, she would suddenly become very emotional, sad and cry and refuse to go to school, always around March 1st, the day of my father’s passing. I do believe that our loved ones are still somehow connected with us, even those they haven’t met.

    • Oh, that is amazing! From what I have read about these kind of things is that people believe that small children are so much more in tune to these occurrences because they themselves have just come from heaven. As we grow older we tend to lose our senses and override these kind of feelings or are just not open to them. It’s a heart warming thought that we can still be connected to the ones we love even when they are gone.

      • Oh wow, I did some reading on the subject about children being connected to ones who have passed. It’s very interesting to me and amazing how many stories there is. How long did you have your connection with him? I bet it was an amazing experience.

  5. It was mostly a longing feeling that I had all through childhood, and a lot through my teen years as I learned more about him. It was a wish that I could have known him, and a deep love that I felt looking at pictures of us together.

  6. Gives me the goose bumps just thinking about how four people were thinking of Papa Bency the exact same day. What are the odds? I’m sure both you and your husband do a fine job keeping his memory alive. So very precious of you two! Maybe that’s why Iris feels connected to him.

  7. Pingback: Connections…From the Other Side… | Misifusa's Blog

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