New Olympic Events

My blogging friend Jane, over at Nothing By The Book, recently wrote a hilarious post about how she was capable of tuning out her three children while they all simultaneously burst out in different songs, melodies and their own made up lyrics while riding in the car as she drove. The picture she painted clearly made me visualize this situation that I could very well relate to and I could mentally feel myself shushing them. I told Jane that Coping Mechanisms should be an Olympic sport and she definitely deserved a gold medal.

I have not been able to shake this idea from my head and that is why I am compiling a few ideas to send to Olympic headquarters.

As parents many of the things we do take a lot of courage, strength and stamina. Therefore I would like to see the following considered for future Olympic events:

  • Getting A Child To Eat Lima Beans– You will be disqualified if you sneak these into the middle of an ice cream sandwich. You will get bonus points for getting them to eat a side of rutabagas with this.
  • Diapering And Clothing A Toddler– You will be disqualified if you duct tape the child down. You get bonus points if you get them to keep their socks on for more than 2 minutes.
  • Opening Up Brand New Toy Packages– This idea is thanks to my blogging friend Courtney at EmbracingtheInsanity who recently did this post about it. I don’t care how you get these open…nothing can disqualify you.
  • Showering Every Day During Your Child’s First Year– You will be disqualified if you just shake baby powder in your hair to get out the grease and spray yourself down with perfume. You get bonus points for keeping your clothes from getting messed up with puke and poop.
  • Going 4 Consecutive Days Without Sleep And Still Performing Basic Household Duties With A Sunny Disposition– This is another one that there is no way you can get disqualified, no matter how you accomplish this. If your performance-enhancing drug of choice is an obscene amount of coffee; more power to you!

Okay, there is about a million more event ideas I can send to Olympic Headquarters but I don’t want to overwhelm them. I really think they should take these seriously….I mean they did add cup stacking to the Junior Olympics after all!

I know this looks amazingly similar to my body but it is actually 2012 Olympian Lolo Jones.

I know this looks amazingly similar to my body but it is actually 2012 Olympian Lolo Jones with my head pasted on it!

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42 responses

  1. I love this idea. I have few to add to the “parents of adolescents” list, if this thing ever takes off.

    Lima beans and rutabagas? Do you chase them around screaming, “No wire hangers, ever!”, too?

    • haha!! I was trying to come up with a “parent of teenager” event and one that came to mind was “waking them up for school.” I was going to say “using a taser gun would disqualify you” but then I wasn’t sure????

      • I think the TASER would e overkill — definitely grounds for disqualification. My money is on the contestant who appeals to the olfactory sense (extremely overdeveloped in your average adolescent) — the smell of bacon cooking or waffles as they hit the iron — this is the type of thing that gets Fangette moving.

  2. Too funny! This is defiantly an idea to be submitted and seriously considered. I’d be happy to help you overwhelm the committee with suggestions. In fact maybe we should propose an entire Olympic Games just for these events. It could be done in the “off” years. 🙂

    • Absolutely!!! I’ll let you know what the Olympic committee says….I mean really, I think there would be a huge viewership on this. I think I just saw that there is a show about celebrities diving or something….the networks must be really hard up for show ideas!

    • Thanks Shelly! That is a GREAT one!!! Not only should a medal be given out for that one but a 1 hour massage and gift certificate to the Olive Garden along with free babysitting for the night…actually I would take that over a medal any day!

  3. Ok, now it is my turn to say thank you for finding me and so glad to have come here today, because everything you said I found myself nodding along to and being able to commiserate with 110%. Seriously these and so many others should be qualified for the “Motherhood Olympics”!! Awesome post and so following you now!! 🙂

  4. I like the way you super imposed your face – funny.I especially appreciate numbers 2&3. I remember dressing my kids when they were todddlers. Some of the snaps/buttons left me muttering.
    The first part of this post reminds me of a guest post I did yesterday entitled Selective Deafness. Its over at Did That Just Happen Blog.

  5. I might actually be able to win one or two of those events… at least right now… when baby #2 comes maybe not so much! lol

  6. I could be a serious contender in these! And I definitely medicate myself with 3 gallons of coffee/coke a day so I am training well! 🙂 You could also add ‘changing a baby boy’s diaper without getting peed on’ to that list! haha!

    • No one could win at the “Avoiding Baby Boy Peeing On You!” We actually have video footage of me giving Cesar his first bath at home and I’m sitting over him cooing and all of a sudden he is just peeing all over me! Keep that training regimen up….you never know when the Olympics is going to call and say we are on!

  7. I still can’t do #5, even if I’ve had sleep! Even though I hate it when my house is dirty, housework makes me cranky until I’m done — and then I love my house again.

    And there should be separate rounds of the Daily Showering event based on the number of kids you have and what ages they are. Bonus for multiples. 🙂

    • My mom has always hummed while she cleans….I definitely can not muster up any humming…I try to get cleaning done as quickly as possible so I can do more fun things!
      Oh my goodness..YES! Anyone with multiples absolutely just gets a gold medal right away…I will be sure to alert the officials to this policy!! haha!!

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