My blogging friend Jane, over at Nothing By The Book, recently wrote a hilarious post about how she was capable of tuning out her three children while they all simultaneously burst out in different songs, melodies and their own made up lyrics while riding in the car as she drove. The picture she painted clearly made me visualize this situation that I could very well relate to and I could mentally feel myself shushing them. I told Jane that Coping Mechanisms should be an Olympic sport and she definitely deserved a gold medal.
I have not been able to shake this idea from my head and that is why I am compiling a few ideas to send to Olympic headquarters.
As parents many of the things we do take a lot of courage, strength and stamina. Therefore I would like to see the following considered for future Olympic events:
- Getting A Child To Eat Lima Beans– You will be disqualified if you sneak these into the middle of an ice cream sandwich. You will get bonus points for getting them to eat a side of rutabagas with this.
- Diapering And Clothing A Toddler– You will be disqualified if you duct tape the child down. You get bonus points if you get them to keep their socks on for more than 2 minutes.
- Opening Up Brand New Toy Packages– This idea is thanks to my blogging friend Courtney at EmbracingtheInsanity who recently did this post about it. I don’t care how you get these open…nothing can disqualify you.
- Showering Every Day During Your Child’s First Year– You will be disqualified if you just shake baby powder in your hair to get out the grease and spray yourself down with perfume. You get bonus points for keeping your clothes from getting messed up with puke and poop.
- Going 4 Consecutive Days Without Sleep And Still Performing Basic Household Duties With A Sunny Disposition– This is another one that there is no way you can get disqualified, no matter how you accomplish this. If your performance-enhancing drug of choice is an obscene amount of coffee; more power to you!
Okay, there is about a million more event ideas I can send to Olympic Headquarters but I don’t want to overwhelm them. I really think they should take these seriously….I mean they did add cup stacking to the Junior Olympics after all!