Duct Tape for My Heart

As you may know, my middle son, Bency is a rip tail peeler (other people use that term to describe mischievous children right…or is it just my family?).

Bency's Kindergarten picture

Bency’s Kindergarten picture

He is the epitome of what this blog is about…finding the humor in parenting or else you would probably cry.

People often talk about the amount of money it costs to raise a child. Diapering, clothes, food and college tuition are a few items that are often mentioned but I never saw anyone mention the BREAKAGE or the LOSS.

Perhaps it’s because they never parented a Bency.

For Heavens to Betsy (or in this case, Bency) I have never seen so many things broken and lost this year. He started off this Kindergarten year armed with new clothes, shoes, backpack, lunchbox etc. Guess how many of those things made it through the year. None I tell you.

Well, actually, the backpack did make it through only because I duct taped it all over after it got ripped in many places.

this back pack is all duct taped up now!

this back pack is all duct taped up now!

He broke 3 lunch boxes, put holes in every pair of pants, broke the soles off of shoes and has lost 2 water bottles. He also lost several articles of winter apparel and was reduced to wearing two different mittens at the end of March.

Also in Kindergarten you have rest time which requires a rest mat that basically consists of foam that is covered in a nylon fabric. Guess who managed to break their rest mat and have it sent home several times. I refused to go buy a new one so I just kept duct taping up all of the holes where the foam was falling out. With 3 days left to go in the school year he is basically just sleeping on one big pile of duct tape!

Yesterday I sent Bency to school with an umbrella that has only been used 3 times. It came home broken because he said he tried to chop down a tree with it.

I don't think I can fix this with duct tape

I don’t think I can fix this with duct tape

He is a bundle of energy and is always racing through the house and being loud. The other day after a particularly rambunctious episode that left me feeling weary I told him to go sit down on the chair and not make a sound.

He replied with, “Okay mama, but please don’t get mad if I breathe. Sometimes it makes sounds when you breathe and you know we all need to breathe to stay alive.”

I sighed and answered with, “Yes, Bency. You can breathe. I would never get mad at you for breathing.”

And then I walked out of the room and chuckled.

There is something about that boy that makes me want to pull my hair out and laugh all at the same time.

We are about to embark on the celebration of his birthday this weekend. I expect him to break one more thing. My heart. It breaks my heart to see that boy grow older and there is no amount of duct tape to fix that.

Do I look like a rip tail peeler?

Do I look like a rip tail peeler?

Happy 6th Birthday Bency!

53 responses

  1. This just popped into my inbox as I was about to log off for the day–but love, love, love. I have two of them–one cubed. Flora’s clothes always, still, get passed on in almost pristine shape to younger kids. When Cinder and Ender are done with their pants, they go into the garbage. They’re too shredded to even be rags. I’ve asked people to please not buy Ender any plastic guns — wands — cars — and if they must, to just put them straight into the garbage, bypassing the point at which he takes a meat mallet to them… or sees what happens to them if you smash them with some bricks. And just imagine what happened to everything in our house when he discovered scissors…

    But this, my friend, is how scientists get started. (Or psychopaths. No! Scientists! Engineers! Our sons are going to save the world!)

    • Thank you Jane! And yes, yes, yes! Everything of Iris’s is perfect when she outgrows it. She has been using the same backpack for the last 3 years. The rest mat from Kindergarten was the one she used and it looked the same as it did the day I bought it when she brought it home. Bency has it for a short time and it’s ruined. Crossing my fingers that you are right and that when he becomes a scientist he can see what I put up with to get him there!!

  2. oh! Happy 6th Birthday to sweet Bency! πŸ™‚
    He should play with Nate, he keeps breaking things around the house too! πŸ™‚
    Hope you will have a great weekend celebrating his birthday!

    • That is an excellent idea Sarah about buying the stock in duct tape because we keep forgetting where we put the rolls of it and just keep buying more. I’m sure we have at least 10 rolls floating around this house right now!!

  3. hahahahaha. That’s greatness! I love little boys! They are my favorite! Mr. T excelled in breaking things, too, but in our world, it was himself. Between eating glass, breaking both bones in his arm, his pinky finger, getting hit by a car… well, you know, as I type this out, it makes me sound like an awful mom… I swear, I’m not! But I do wish that duct tape would have worked on his damage! Would have been loads cheaper!

    • hahahaha!!! That list is so hilarious and quite the icing on the cake by ending it with being hit by a car! I can only assume these were all minor incidents since he is still able to go about town and ride his bike….and get into more accidents!!! Boys are so fun!

    • Thank you Vanessa! I hope he enjoyed having that Angry Bird back pack because he is either using it again next year, duct tape and all or else he is getting the cheapest, ugliest back pack ever made!! No more fancy stuff for him!

    • Thank you! I know, when he came home yesterday and told me what happened to the umbrella I just shook my head and asked him what would make him think he should chop down a tree in the first place and secondly with an umbrella! Of course he had no answer!

  4. what a lovely tribute to a lovely child. i also love the name rip tail peeler, i’ve never heard that term before but it really says it all doesn’t it? bency is just a person who transfers some of his high volume of energy to the things that surround him in the world, nothing wrong with that )

    • Thank you Beth! I really think rip tail peeler is something my Grandma made up. I’ve never heard anyone else use outside of our family now that I think about it! But yes, it really gives the right flourish to this kind of child!

  5. Having a Bency is creative inspiration for any Mother ! It pushes the limits of mustering more patience and evolving to a much higher level of humor than thought possible …. You are indeed BLESSED !!!

  6. Happy Birthday, Bency! I’m so behind on my blog-reading (end of school really got me this year), but I just had to pop in. He’s a deconstructionist — just like my kids! Excellent!

    If they ever figure out how to make an umbrella that can survive the light-saber/swordplay that every single boy I’ve ever seen does, they should patent that thing. That’s priceless!

    • Oh boy, that should would be a million dollar product for sure! I can’t believe no one has ever thought of this before. But then again, with kids like Bency and yours I’m sure we keep the umbrella companies in business!! Thanks for stopping by! I hope things get less hectic around there soon!

  7. Happy early birthday to Bency! I think his tendency to break things now might just blossom into creativity in fixing things or inventing things as he grows! I’m excited to hear how his celebration goes!

  8. Sweet post!
    Happy b-day to Bency. Enjoy the celebrations.
    My boys are also hard on things. It’s like they are all Bam Bam. My older boy loses so many things that we joke they should name the lost & found after him.

    • Stephanie can you imagine all the duct tape I am going to go through in Bency’s lifetime? I can just picture his first car when he’s 16…the bumper, side mirrors and doors will all be stuck on duct tape!!

  9. That kid has a brother that he has never met here in the thumb of Michigan. I am always thinking OMG when I read about Bency because he is just like Collin. I love them both. Yesterday three year old Collin took the Dyson vacuum apart and had dirt EVERYWHERE. The babysitter couldn’t get it fixed to clean up the mess so she had to call her retired husband to bring hers over to clean up. Oh I forgot they have a back up vacuum and he tore that apart too. Thank God yesterday was the last day for his mom to work for the summer.
    Today she and the kids came over and I heard the story so I asked why he took them apart. It seems that one of his wheels to his little tractor was missing and he thought it might have gotten vacuumed up. I don’t care what Brooke says I see his reasoning.
    Happy Birthday Bency. Call me if you need me.

    • haha!!! I have to say, Bency has never tore apart my vacuum…you know I will be keeping a close eye on it now!! Can you imagine the things those two boys could come up with if we got them together?

  10. I was so giggling at what Bency has artistically wrecked in his short years…especially the umbrella. Then I read your last paragraph and out loud said “Ohh”
    For Bency is a special kid
    who plays & roughs & tumbles
    and mum is there with duct tape
    for all the broken articles
    but can mum’s tape mend her heart
    watching her boy grow
    no amount of tape will stop his
    life from going slow
    but she will treasure every day
    watching her rip tail peeler
    and all the love & smiles he brings
    this truly is the ‘sealer’ πŸ™‚

  11. This made me laugh & brought back alot of memories of Joe & Ryan. Ryan was especially my Bency & if he didn’t break something he spilled something…even if he wasn’t in the same room it seemed! Now he has his own mirror images to parent as “payback”. I remember Grandma Muller telling me I was being paid back for my own naughtiness whenever I’d relate some tale of the boys escapades …countless times I’d hear that until one day I asked her to take the “hex” off & she said “never” in her quiet voice. So maybe she hexed you too cuz your Dad was definitely her “rip tail peeler”!?
    And I think that term is only from your Mom’s side as I’ve never heard it elsewhere in my vast years. Always loved hearing it as it was a perfect description even though I couldn’t quite fathom what the words meant (I’m a bit too literal I guess)
    And I definitely could understand Bency’s logic about the breathing noise. …he is a thinker for sure. Your heart had to melt! I used to have the boys sit in a “prayer chair” in their worst moments….presumably to pray to be good. It gave me a moment to count my blessings at least! Years later they confessed & said they never really prayed…ha!
    I’m sure Bency will grow up to be someone especially gifted. …maybe he’ll invent unbreakable stuff or better duct tape?
    Just be prepared to wish these days back β™‘
    Happy Birthday to the fantastic Bency & thanks for bringing me happy memories!

    • Aunt Wendy, I really think you’re on to something with this hexing business. I’ve heard plenty of stories about my Dad as a kid and every time Bency pulls something I think, “My goodness, I am raising my father.”

  12. Happy Birthday to Bency. Troy is the exact same way so I feel your struggle with the fantastic yet crazy kid! πŸ™‚ I love that he tried to chop down a tree (because it was your kid, not mine – haha) and it’s so hilarious that he asked for permission to breathe!I think kids say those cute things right when we are about to explode just to remind us why we love them so much!

  13. Oh how I love this! A rip tail peeler – I have never heard of such a thing but it somehow seems like such a perfect description of the chaotic, madness of destruction some children leave behind them as they go through life. Chopping down a tree with an umbrella – LOL! It is simply awesome. I hope Bency and you all have a wonderful celebration of love and life and birthdays. Hug him tight to you, for while he is a breaker of things, I think he also is a mender of your soul.

  14. Happy Birthday, Bency! I hope you had a wonderful time at your party. Give mommy a BIG hug for all the love and hard work she put into your special day!

    Melissa, thanks for sharing Bency with us! I don’t think I’ll ever look at duck tape the same! πŸ˜‰

  15. Aw! I LOVE this post. I do feel a tab bit sorry for the Angry Bird knapsack though. I don’t think an Angry Bird would like duct tape–with it sticking to the feathers and all.
    Happy Birthday to Bency! And big hugs to you.

  16. Bency sounds like a delight πŸ˜‰ I hope he has a wonderful birthday. He has mischief in his smile, I can see how you’re going to need the duct tape for your heart….little boys sure know how to win their mommas over. (love the comment about not being mad at him for breathing) Too cute!

    • They sure do know how to win us over!! The comment about the breathing was really funny and he actually made it much longer by giving me examples of “noisy” breathing. I was just staring at him like how does this even pop into your head??

  17. Awww! I know what you mean! I wish I could keep them at a certain age always! I’ve never heard of the term “rip tail peeler”… but after having read this post, I think I know what it means! πŸ™‚ The problem is Melissa, that Bency is TOO cute!

    • Lidia, I really think “rip tail peeler” is something my Grandma made up now that I’ve heard that no one else has ever heard of it! I wonder how many times I have said it and no one even knows what I’m talking about!! haha!!

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