I Totally Thought They Were Wooden Blocks

As you all know I believe that motherhood is an art form. It takes a lot of creativity and humor to navigate your way successfully through parenting.

This philosophy is particularly true when it comes to potty training.

I am in the throes of potty training my third child. My 2 year old Cesar has insisted on using the toilet. I actually would like to wait a few more months but seeing as he’s the third child and has two older siblings to look up to, he has proven to be very independent and wants to do everything they are doing.

So the potty training commenced a week ago.

I put underwear on him, showed him how to put his potty seat on the toilet and then how to sit on it by himself.

We’ve had some successes and plenty of accidents throughout the past week.

5 days ago Cesar and I were upstairs changing bedding when I noticed two of Cesar’s wooden blocks on the floor. I went to pick them up but quickly discovered they weren’t blocks…yes, they were poop that were amazingly square shape.

As I ran to his room to grab a new pair of underwear and run back to where he was, I discovered him picking it up…

So now he has poop streaked down his legs, all over his hands, it’s ground into the carpeting and I have to try to figure out a way to get him downstairs to the bathroom to get him cleaned up!

(Insert creativity and humor here!)

2 days ago Bency came downstairs and in a very nonchalant voice stated, “There’s something really weird happening in my room, Mom.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” I asked

“Well, the decorations on my dresser have all been turned backwards and my baseball hat was moved and there’s poop on the floor.” Bency replied in the most casual voice possible.

I stood there shocked. I wasn’t shocked that there were things moved around in Bency’s room nor that there was poop on the floor. Obviously, after my go around just the other day with the poop on the floor fiasco I have kind of braced myself for future occurrences as Cesar is still running amok with only loose fitting undies on.

What I was most shocked about was the ho-hum attitude that Bency had about discovering poop on his bedroom floor. I certainly think he could muster more surprise, disbelief or outrage.

So as I tried to wrap my head around his calm, cool attitude about the discoveries in his room, I made my way upstairs for a poop scavenger hunt to pick up before Cesar did….

(Insert creativity and humor for the next few months!)

Business on top, Party on the bottom

Business on top, Party on the bottom

Guest Blogger: 2 Year Old Cesar

Hi my name is Cesar! I’m two years old today! My mom normally does the writing on here but today I thought I would give the world a little insight into what it’s like to be the youngest kid in this family.

This is me writing this blog

First of all, I have an older sister, Iris, age 7 and an older brother, Bency age 5. They can be real pains in the butt sometimes. They rarely let me play with them. Something about I’m not old enough to play board games and that I always knock down or mess up the creations they build. Yet, for my birthday I got some really cool toys that they are dying to get their hands on. If they even look at my toys with any hint of enthusiasm I make a loud screech and mom comes and tells the big kids to get away from MY toys!

Me with my sister and brother

Being the youngest kid I get to experience things at a much younger age than my brother and sister did. For example when my siblings were 2 years old they could only use crayons to color with. Let me tell you….CRAYONS ARE FOR BABIES!!  I found these markers in my brother’s room and these are much better to color with. I now have located them in various other places in the house too and let me tell you….MARKERS ARE THE BOMB! You can color all over your body with them….try doing that with a crayon!

me having to color with crayons….blah

Thanks to an older sister I have been introduced to all kinds of great musical talent. Justin Bieber is my favorite. My mother is slightly irritated with me that I have no interest in learning Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. I guess this is what she tortured my older brother and sister with when they were 2 years old.

My older brother and sister are now both in school. It’s nice to have lots of time to myself with mom but the terrible thing is all the chores have fallen on me now. What my sister and brother did all summer is all up to me. Mom has me dusting, swiffering, cooking and vacuuming all the time now. It’s total crap. I actually wouldn’t mind the vacuuming so much if she gave me a REAL vacuum… but no….she has me using a toy vacuum. Who does she think she’s kidding?? I know I’m not actually picking up dirt. I’m just her pet monkey pushing around a little toy.

Me doing all of the housework

Listen up fellow 2 year olds; I have some great advice for you! Apparently there’s a rumor going around that once kids hit 2 years old, we start having tantrums and other irritating behaviors. I am not going to succumb to this stereotype. Tantrums and whining get you nowhere. I’ve seen my siblings whine. My mom is super tough. She just ignores them. If they continue, she sends them to their room. My brother and sister are such idiots.

Cookies are my life!

Here’s a secret for you. I have an ADDICTION. It’s to cookies. I don’t just want them….I NEED COOKIES! I have learned that whining and tantrums do not work. What you have to do is look really cute, smile and say, “Cookie Pweese!” More often than not this works. If you ask for more than one in an hour though; this tactic may not work. My mom becomes a total liar and says, “the cookies are all gone honey.” Seriously, who does she think she’s dealing with? I know she’s lying! Unfortunately calling her out on lying is not a good choice either, so I go with Plan B. This plan requires you to feign a headache. To feign a headache you simply put your hands up to your forehead and say “cooooookieeee” in a low moaning voice. Do NOT confuse this with whining. Whining has a high pitch to it. Keep your voice low and pathetic…almost like you’re dying. My mom falls for this every time! I think she can sympathize with headaches…she gets them all of the time when my brother and sister whine.

This is how to fake a headache

Well, I guess that’s all for today. Mom says I have to go take a “birthday” nap. Naps are so dumb. I have better things to do. I’ve been trying for the last year to figure out how to open up all of the doors. I’ve almost got it. I just need a little more time and I’ll be able to break FREE!!!

Someone stay on the look out for Mom….I’ve almost got it!!

I’m sure you’ll be hearing more about me in the future when my mom writes more on here. If she mentions anything about me having tantrums or bad behavior….Don’t believe it!!! Remember she’s a complete liar. I know we have a fully stocked cupboard of cookies! On that note, also give me the heads up if my mom mentions anything about taking me to “cookie rehab.” I think I’m skating on thin ice with this addiction. Every time she says we’re going to the grocery store, I get a sick feeling in my stomach that “grocery store” might actually be code for rehab facility. I think I better get this addiction thing under control before she does something drastic.

Happy 2nd Birthday to ME!!!!

Bye!!! See Ya!!! I Lub You!!!

Cesar

Good Bye!!