I Go Out Walking After Midnight, Out in the Moonlight

Some of you may have recognized my title from the Patsy Cline song, “Walking After Midnight.” However, this story has nothing to do with Patsy Cline even though I am a huge fan of hers. It is actually about an event that took place last week at our house.

If this event had turned out differently; there is a good chance that I would still be sitting in the fetal position, rocking back and forth and muttering incoherent sentences somewhere.

I’ve mentioned before in the story You Can Sleep With Me Forever that my 5 year old son, Bency, has sneaked into my husband and I’s bed almost every night of his life. On the nights that this doesn’t happen, he sleepwalks, and we find him somewhere else other than his bed.

Most of the locations are pretty tame:

the living room floor

his bedroom floor

or a living room chair

However, there was the time that we almost called the police. One night as my husband and I were getting ready to go to bed, I looked in Bency’s room. He was not there! We began searching the house for him everywhere. We looked in every room, every closet and under the beds. No Bency! As I was starting to come unglued I happened to look in the attic playroom and lo and behold there was Bency fast asleep.

sleeping in the attic

We have also had a few instances where Bency has sleepwalked downstairs while my husband and I are still awake watching television. Bency has walked into the living room, pulled down his pants and has come close to peeing on a chair. Thanks to my husband and I’s quick reaction times we have been able to escort him into the bathroom, wake him up enough that he is able to use the toilet. Bency has never had any recollection of any of these occurrences happening!

Now onto my story of what happened last week. My husband and I were in the living room watching television. The kids had been in bed for a few hours. All of a sudden we heard footsteps coming down the stairs that we assumed had to be Bency. Instead of the footsteps entering the living room they went the other direction in the house and we heard the basement door open. My husband and I each shot each other a quizzical glance and quickly got up and bounded to the basement door. When we looked downstairs we saw Bency standing at the bottom of the stairs looking around in a daze.

We asked him what he was doing and he answered with, “Oh nothing, just going to go to the bathroom.”

We responded with, “No, No Buddy. You’re in the basement. There’s no bathroom down there. Come back upstairs and we’ll help you into the bathroom.”

So Bency gingerly made his way back up the stairs and my husband helped him into the bathroom.

But what happened next will explain why if we hadn’t found him right away and ushered him into the bathroom would have caused me some serious cleaning and possibly mental toil.

Bency had explosive diarrhea.

In unrelated news. I finally finished my children’s book yesterday! I sent it off to be made up and it will be shipped to me soon. If everything looks good, I will be holding a giveaway on my blog’s 1 year anniversary July 6th! Here’s a sneak peak of the cover:

the cover of my book, What’s in the Bucket?

 

A Good Ol’ Scolding

Parenthood is full of scolding….

“Why on earth would you stick a crayon up your nose?”

“What would make you think it was okay to draw all over your body with black marker?”

I am a master of finger wagging and dramatic, guilt-ridden tones.

The other day was no different. A good scolding was handed out. However, this time I was on the receiving end. My 5 year old son, Bency, proved he has what it takes to dish out a good ol’ what for?

It started when I got a call from Bency’s teacher. She said Bency was complaining he had a stomach ache, was tired and just wanted to lay down at 10 o’clock in the morning. I told her I would be right there to pick him up from school.

I retrieved Bency from school, gave him a big hug and said, “Hey little Buddy, what’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?”

Instead of melting in my arms and seeking the comfort that motherhood has to offer he stepped back and began his little tirade:

“This is your fault. I am so tired. You kept me up all night with your slurping.” Can you picture the finger wagging at me with the scrunched up eyes and pursed mouth that went along with this?

I stood there dumbfounded with my mouth agape trying to figure out what he was talking about.

He went to explain further:

“I heard you last night. I heard the blender going. I know you and Daddy had smoothies after you tucked me in. Then you kept me up all night slurping away.”

Can you hear my exasperated sigh? Can you picture me standing there at a complete loss for words wondering if he truly just said that?

The truth of the matter is; after we had the kids all tucked in bed, my husband did in fact bust out the blender. They were actually milkshakes that he made using vanilla ice cream and crumbled up Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies. They were so good. Trust me they were so delicious that I think I had it gone in 5 minutes. As for the slurping….well of course there was slurping. Something that good you want to make sure you have every last drop.

I think the real culprit was Daylight Savings Time. Bency had a hard time with the adjustment. Instead of pointing this out to him, I just hung my head and promised I would not keep him up all night with my slurping ever again. I added an eye roll and dramatic sigh that every good scolding needs at the end.

You Can Sleep With Me Forever

A few weeks ago, my 5 year old son, Bency told me he never wants to become an uncle.

I briefly closed my eyes, took a deep breath and prepared for what was coming next. I’m used to these kinds of statements. They happen frequently. They involve long stories; sit down discussions and lots of mind power on my part.

I asked why he didn’t want to become an uncle.

Bency said, “Once you become an uncle you die. It’s all over with. That’s it. I don’t want to die so I don’t want to become an uncle.”

I realized Bency had no idea what an uncle was so I explained that an uncle is the brother to one of your parents. I gave the example of his Uncle Bruce, the guy he sees pretty often and calls….”Uncle Bruce”.

Instead of setting his mind at ease, this explanation had him putting his head down, covering his eyes and shuddering, “Oh no, NOT Uncle Bruce! I didn’t know he was an….UNCLE! He looks more like a dad to me.”

Bency’s birthday present last year from Uncle Bruce..his uncle is VERY creative!!

Repeat me closing my eyes and taking a deep breath to prepare for delving in deeper with this issue.

Bency’s been like this forever. He thinks a lot. He makes himself scared a lot. In turn, this causes him to get scared in the middle of the night…a lot.

He has snuck into bed with my husband and me almost every night of his life like a stealth ninja. We wake up and there he is, all nestled in by us.

I haven’t made a big deal of it because I understand what it’s like to be scared in the middle of the night. I snuck into my parent’s bed plenty of times as a kid. The only difference between Bency and me is that I used to pee the bed so not only did I disrupt my parent’s sleep but they also woke up wet. Bency has never done this, so this does help his cause somewhat.

Regardless, I still try to offer incentives for Bency to stay in his bed all night. We had some luck when he started Kindergarten. I told him Kindergartners were big kids so they couldn’t sleep with their parents anymore. This did keep him at bay for a week. I thought my plan was a success. It wasn’t. Bency said, “I’ve been thinking about it and I think Kindergartners can still sleep with their parents. I’m really pretty small yet.”

Two nights ago, I set up a small Christmas tree in Bency’s room to hold all the ornaments he’s ever received. Bency decorated his tree all by himself and really thought it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

At bedtime, Bency requested that his bedroom be rearranged so he had a better view of his tree so he could look at it all night. I wasn’t about to rearrange his bedroom but his enthusiasm for his Christmas tree gave me an idea.

Bency’s tree in his room

I said to Bency, “Now Buddy, make sure you stay in your bed all night so you can protect your tree so no one comes and takes this beauty.”

Bency’s eyes got HUGE and he gasped, “WHO would come take some little kid’s Christmas tree out of their room? There are no bad people in the world that would do something like that….IS THERE??”

My heart skipped a beat and I mumbled, “No, uhhh, ummm, no, ummm, I didn’t mean that. I just meant someone might want to come and look at it, because it’s so beautiful.”

In a high, squeaky, shaky voice Bency asked, “You mean people might be sneaking into my room tonight?”

My stomach turned, I wanted to pound myself with a hammer over the head. As much as I wanted to hit the rewind button and erase what I said, I couldn’t. So I said the only logical thing left to say, “Hey buddy, do you want to sleep with Mommy tonight?”

Bency sleeping