We Broke Our Mom

Hi Everybody! This is Cesar, my mom’s almost 3 year old son. She normally writes here at Motherhood Is An Art but for the last few weeks my mom has been broken.

My name is Cesar!

My name is Cesar!

Last year I also wrote a piece on my 2nd birthday. It was one of my mom’s most read posts. Seeing as I have quite a way with words I thought I would fill in here for my mom and give you some insight as to what is going on at our house.

As I mentioned, I am going to be 3 years old in a few weeks. I also have an 8 year old sister and a 6 year old brother.

My brother Bency and sister Iris

My brother Bency and sister Iris

Together, we broke my mom.

It was a slow and gradual process but we put up an united front. By the last few weeks of summer we had officially “driven her up a wall”. There was a lot of walking out of the room to take deep breaths or her just standing and staring at us while her face twitched and turned beet red. There were also the sudden outbursts of long tangents with incoherent sentences about, “No one listens to me. No one appreciates anything.”

You could see my mom slowing cracking as she heard my older siblings fight for the 50th time over who got to be the dog in the Monopoly game.

You could see her mood change drastically when she made a big batch of refrigerator pickles with my sister while my brother was upstairs watching Phineas and Ferb. When my brother came down and discovered his sister got to make pickles he whined, “It’s not fair that I didn’t get to make pickles. You just love Iris more.”

My mom relented and let Bency make pickles too even though we already had more than enough. That batch managed to leak all over the inside of the refrigerator and my mom had to spend hours cleaning up the sticky vinegar and sugar brine. Plus, no one even likes the pickles.

She began teetering on the tipping point when all of us kids wouldn’t eat the big watermelon she purchased. Even though it was a seedless variety, my sister said the little white seeds were making her gag. My brother and I followed suit and pretended to gag too and refused to eat the red, sweet flesh.

Because my mom didn’t want to see it go to waste she pureed up the rest of the watermelon and made popsicles with it. We all took two licks of those frozen pops and deemed those gross too. Mom huffed and puffed and told us to go put them in the kitchen sink to melt. We all fought to get to the sink first and our popsicles fell to the floor and drips of the sticky substance splattered all over.

Someone made the mistake of asking for a different and better snack.

The day before school started my parents took us all out for miniature golf. On the 2nd hole I managed to fall into the water trap. I began screaming… not so much because I was hurt but because I was certain this was the straw that would break the camel’s back. I was sure this would put my mom over the edge. But as my mom pulled me off the concrete alligator as the water rushed over me I heard a sound I had not heard in a long time. It was my mom laughing! Instead of going on a ramble about how there always has to be some glitch in everything we do…she laughed as she pulled algae out of my hair. I thought it was a bit inappropriate seeing as her 2 year old had just experienced a harrowing ordeal but it was nice to see the sparkle in her eye and I began to laugh with her too. I didn’t even complain when I had to golf the next 16 holes sopping wet.

My mom laughing at me after I fell in the water

My mom laughing at me after I fell in the water

My mom is coming around and getting back to her old self. Although I noticed last night when I sneaked in the kitchen and stole a cookie without finishing my supper she started to say, “What do you think you’re doing?” and instead just finished with a “Whatever” as she shook her head in a tired, defeated way as her eye twitched a few times.

Maybe I’ll wait until later to tell her I pooped my pants and hid the underwear in the toy box.

Take care folks and I promise to start being really good so my mom can get back here real soon!

Cesar

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Old School Blogging

My gal pal Sarah over at The Sadder But Wiser Girl recently tagged me in a post that consists of lists of 5 things about myself. I’m still laughing over some of Sarah’s answers! Below you will find my answers to these questions. Enjoy!

Five Things I Have a Passion for:

1. Creating and looking at art

2. Going to thrift stores and garage sales

3. Being a mom

4. History

5. Dessert

I love being a mom to these kids!

I love being a mom to these kids!

Five Things I Would Like To Do Before I Kick the Bucket:

1. Eat an entire can of sweetened condensed milk

2. Wallpaper an entire room with little magazine pictures like I did with my attic (I think I am going to wait until I’m 80 years old and don’t care what the resale value of my home is).

3. Build a rock wall

4. Learn how to build stuff with wood (I guess that would be carpentry skills).

5. Own an art studio for kids (this seems overly ambitious for me but MAYBE).

This is our attic wall...I would love to do this to an entire room

This is our attic wall…I would love to do this to an entire room

Five Things I Say A Lot:

1. Why on earth would you think this okay to do? (this is to both my husband and kids)

2. Just a minute. Hold on. Wait a sec. (I have 4 people constantly asking me for something so they get some sort of variation of this)

3. That is flippin’ hilarious!

4. You are driving me crazy!

5. I don’t know (I seriously have to say this a lot because I get asked questions like “Would hopping on an ostrich save me if I got stuck in a tornado since they can run really fast?” all day long)

This is what it looks like when I am on the phone

This is what it looks like when I am on the phone

Five Things I Read Recently:

1. The Birth Order Book by Kevin Leman (I read this to learn more about my kids and ended up learning a lot about myself)

2. Wonderful Tonight by Pattie Boyd (wife to George Harrison and Eric Clapton…pretty interesting)

3. Hundreds of children’s books ranging from The Potty Book for Boys, The Star Wars Easy Reader Books and Ramona Quimby

4. Penny Press’s Variety Puzzles (ok, so this isn’t really reading but it is a magazine I subscribe to…I absolutely love extremely hard logic problems that make me break out in a sweat trying to figure them out)

5. Country Living magazine (my mom always subscribes to magazines that let her pass on a second subscription to someone else and she always picks me)

Five Favorite Movies:

(disclaimer: I am really not a movie person because I usually fall asleep during them. The following movies are ones that not only I did NOT fall asleep during them but have watched  them multiple times)

1. Life is Beautiful (a movie about the Holocaust)

2. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (a movie about the Holocaust)

3. Say Anything

4. The Help

5. The Green Mile (this is the only book I ever read that I equally liked the movie)

Five Places I Would Love to Travel:

1. Oregon/Washington area

2. Hawaii

3. Costa Rica

4. India

5. A remote African village to help out (I actually looked into joining the Peace Corps when I was in high school)

Five Bloggers I’m Tagging For This Thing:

1. Courtney @ Embracing the Insanity

2. Cathy @ Go Mama O

3. Lidia @ Ohlidia

4. Christine @ Momtimes4

5. Kate @ Did That Just Happen

All you ladies need to do is get to answering and writing so we can all learn a little more about you!

Have a great day!

Melissa

1 Year Blog Anniversary and a Giveaway!

This past Saturday marked the 1 year anniversary of this little ol’ blog called Motherhood Is An Art.

I do believe that calls for a woot! woot! and some appreciation to everyone who reads and follows me. I am very sincere when I say that I am very thankful to people who stop on by and take their time to read. I have met some of thee coolest people through blogging.

To show my appreciation I am not only sharing a recent children’s book I wrote for my children (based off an event that actually happened that I greatly exaggerated) but I am also giving a copy away to one lucky reader! All you have to do to be entered to win is leave a comment at the bottom of the page indicating that you would like a copy. The other option is to leave a comment on my Facebook page which you can join by clicking on the Facebook “like” button on the right hand side of the page! In one week I will announce the winner!

Without further ado….here is the book I wrote and illustrated:

cover page

page 1 copy2

A mom and her three kids were driving in their van one bright, sunny day. They had the windows rolled down and were singing along to their favorite songs on the radio.

page 2 copy

All of a sudden, Mom heard a low grunting noise coming from the back seat. The noise grew into louder growls and roars. The mom found herself slightly panicked that her three children had been replaced by lions…

page 3 copy2

or bears…

page 4 copy

or wart hogs.

page 5 copy

After a quick check in the rearview mirror the mystery was solved when she discovered that the two older children were bickering and arguing at an escalating volume. She turned down the radio and that is when the girl exclaimed, “Brother is emptying my bucket!”

The mom quickly fired back in a panicked tone, “What bucket? Who brought a bucket in the van? What was in the bucket?”

page 6 copy

Mom knew how much her kids loved to put stuff in buckets. She began to imagine hundreds of worms being spilled into the van…

page 7 copy

or possibly hundreds of roly-poly bugs…

page 8 copy

or a bucket full of ants.

page 9 copy

Would they have brought a bucket of water in the van…

page 10 copy

or gooey mud and leaves?

page 11 copy

After trying to steal glances over her shoulder and not seeing anything; the mom asked again about the contents of the bucket that the brother emptied.

The girl explained that in her Life Skills class at school, her teacher told them we all have an imaginary bucket inside of us. When someone does or says something mean to us; it empties our bucket.

page 12 copy

The girl said her bucket was getting emptied when her brother told her that she had dragon breath.

page 13 copy

The mom immediately told her son to apologize to his big sister. He also had to come up with one compliment to help fill her “bucket” back up.

He told his sister he was sorry and then he told her she was as cool as a two-headed frog. In other words he thought his sister was pretty awesome!

 

No, I Am Not in the Loony Bin

Have you ever wondered what the recipient must feel like that gets a Nobel Peace Prize or an Academy Award placed into their hands?

I have an inkling what this must feel like.

No, I don’t have a shiny trophy to place on my mantel but I do have my sanity.

I survived a 3 week cross-country driving trip, clocking over 3,500 miles, with my husband and 3 children. In my eyes, accomplishing this and maintaining a semi-normal mental health status ranks right up there with having a prestigious award bestowed upon me.

Don’t get me wrong; things weren’t always ideal. Thoughts of leaving a child or two along the side of the highway did take up fleeting moments in my mind. Overall though, things went smooth and most importantly we all lived to tell our version of our family’s 1st major vacation together.

I wish I could say this is what the whole car ride looked like but it didn't!

I wish I could say this is what the whole car ride looked like but it didn’t!

Two weeks of our trip was spent at my mother-in-law’s house in Albuquerque, New Mexico. We also attended a family reunion in Las Vegas (not the glitzy, casino-flooded city but a small town in New Mexico). There had to be around 600 people in attendance at this 3 day affair. I think it’s safe to assume my husband’s side of the family is very fertile! The other week of our trip revolved around traveling from our home in Wisconsin to New Mexico and back again. We made many stops at various landmarks and did a lot of really cool things.

Despite all of the sight-seeing, my family all agreed that the best part of the trip was spending time with our kinfolk in Albuquerque. I come from a small family compared to my husband, so the chance to have my husband’s 7 other sisters and brothers, their spouses and tons of kids of various ages running around is like having a party all of the time.

This is only my husband's immediate family in attendance at the reunion. There was about 7 more groups there this same size or bigger!

This is only my husband’s immediate family in attendance at the reunion. There was about 7 more groups there this same size or bigger! My family and I are on the far right.

We took over 3,000 pictures on this vacation so in the coming weeks I’m sure I will be sharing more highlights. Right now, I have to get back to unpacking, laundry and all of the other stuff that goes along with being away from your home for 3 weeks. I just wanted to say hi to everyone, let you know you were all missed and I can’t wait to get back into the swing of things in the blogging world!

Lots of love,

Melissa

Welcome to the Party Line

Two longs and one short. One short and one long.

These were my parent’s phone numbers back in the 1940’s and 50’s. They both lived in rural Wisconsin and were on party lines. Back then several houses would be connected by one phone wire. Each house was given a different ring for their crank phones. When you heard your particular ring you knew to pick up the phone because someone was trying to reach you.

old crank phone

old crank phone

The disadvantage to this system is that everyone on your circuit could listen in on your conversations.

The advantage to this system is that you could listen in on everyone’s conversations!

I love when my Dad tells me the story about his mom (my Grandma) and the party line.

You see, my grandma was a sweet, soft-spoken lady. She was a farmer’s wife living in a house with no running water and no television. She worked hard raising her four children, tending to the garden and taking care of the chickens. She couldn’t drive a car. The one time my Grandpa did try to teach her, things didn’t go so well, so she refused to try again. Therefore, she only made it into town every few weeks when my Grandpa drove her.

My Dad tells me that many times he would walk into the kitchen and there would be Grandma with the phone to her ear. She would be perched on her chair sitting still as a mouse and listening intently. She would shoot my Dad the “look” and put her finger to her lips to ensure his silence. My Dad knew the drill and would mosey on his way.

I had never heard about this until she passed away some years back. The thought of my dear old Grandma Freda eavesdropping just puts me in stitches. The grandma I remember was always full of news. She would update us on everyone in the family and tell us the goings on in the town. She wasn’t a gossip…just an informer of all the important tidbits!

I think back to that woman who was around the age I am now, listening in on the party line. In all likelihood I may have very well done the same thing.

In a way, I do listen in on the party line. In a way, we all listen in on the party line.

I think it’s human nature to want to know what other people are doing and how they are. It’s interesting to see how other people live. It’s nice to have connections with others and to learn from other people’s experiences.

If this wasn’t true then Facebook, Twitter and blogging wouldn’t be so popular.

Our whole life is submerged into one big party line. The only difference nowadays is you can hit a “like” button or leave a comment and let the person know you’ve been by to catch up on all the juicy news! There is no need to sit in silence or shush the children!

Grandma Freda in 1942 with two of her children. My dad is the baby on her lap.

Grandma Freda in 1942 with two of her children. My dad is the baby on her lap.

Getting Some Real Mail

My 7 year old daughter, Iris loves to write letters. She’s kept a steady correspondence with the Tooth Fairy over the past couple of years who exchange their letters through her tooth fairy pouch she keeps on her doorknob.

Her latest letter:

Letter to Tooth fairy

To Tooth Fairy,

My tooth fairy pouch broke, so I put it next to my bed. Can you ring the bells to wake me up (only on a school night) so we can think of things to fix my pouch?

Iris

P.S. Am I a fairy?

P.S.S. Did Jack Frost take all the snow animals?

Iris

Recently, Valerie over at Atlantamomofthree did a postcard exchange which I participated in because I knew my kids would love getting some “real” mail.

When we received our postcard, letters and some stickers the kids were so excited. They loved looking at the pictures on the postcard, they loved learning about another family and of course getting some fun stickers in the mail was an extra bonus.

Postcard from Valerie and her family

Postcard from Valerie and her family

My 5 year old son, Bency fell asleep last night clutching his sheets of stickers.

There is definitely something special about receiving something in your mailbox or I guess your tooth fairy pouch that just can’t be replaced with an email. You get to hold those pieces of paper containing the words that someone wrote especially for you. They gave you a piece of them that you will have forever.

Thank you Valerie and family!!

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To read more letters to the Tooth Fairy that Iris has written read the following stories:

She Believes in Unicorns and Other Fancy Stuff

The Tooth Fairy is Involved in the Case of the Missing Library Book

Put Your Hands In the Air, There’s a Virtual Party Over Here

Today marks 6 months of when I first started my blog. I was inspired to start my blog when I realized that all of the things you find on Pinterest are coming from blogs. I thought I might have a few Pinterest worthy ideas rolling around in my head that I could contribute. My blog has contained some posts that I have shared on Pinterest but much to my amazement, I actually kind of like writing. I never considered myself a writer but my blog has come to contain many personal stories. Prior to starting my blog I never really read other blogs or followed them.

But now 6 months later, I follow a lot of blogs. I am in awe of the amount of talent floating around in this world.

Through the sharing of my own blog and reading other people’s blogs I have made many “virtual friends.” Now really, anyone in my opinion who is blogging is amazing. It takes a lot of time and sometimes sacrifice…my sacrifice has been sleep!  But the following people have become very dear to me because not only are they creative or amazing writers or just plain funny; they have been following my blog from the near beginning. They have kept me inspired and encouraged.

And for that I am throwing a “virtual party.”

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First of all I would invite my Mom! She doesn’t blog herself but she has been my most faithful reader. Part of her love of reading my blog comes in the form of reading my comments from other people. She gets such a bang out of it and in turn goes and reads their blogs! So everyone say “hi” to my mom! She has more than likely read your blog and loved it!

The rest are all bloggers that like I said have been around since the  beginnings of my blog. They are all wonderful people and I think you will find many people you yourself will enjoy reading and following! I am going to try to recall as much information I know about them off the top of my head…if I get some details wrong, forgive me…my memory usually deceives me!

The Embiggens Project: This girl is hysterical and has an amazing mind! I have no idea how she comes up with the stuff she writes about but it blows me away! She hails from Canada and is a high school English teacher! She has a phobia of dolls and a love for ookpiks and Barry Weiss from Storage Wars. I have actually been enlightened about a lot of different things from her! You will adore this girl!

The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle: This lady is not only funny but also has a great heart. She’ll write a funny story one day and the next post will have you tugging at your heart strings. Every Friday, she does a hilarious job of rounding up the week’s “Top News Stories” and puts her own spin on them! She is from Nebraska, is currently working as a church secretary and has four kids ranging in ages of 11 up to a college age son. She loves her family and has a way of making you want to love your own family a bit more!

the thing about joan: Joan is from Chicago and has a twin boy and girl. She is passionate about creating and does so many things. We actually found each other after I did a post about a garden I had visited in my town…she had been there too and uses a picture from there as her gravatar! This lady will give you many great ideas!

advocatemmmohan aksharaalie: This man is from India, is a lawyer and writes poetry. He has an amazing way with words and weaves them together so beautifully!

Sugar and Spice Baking: This young lady is from Sweden but recently moved to England to be with her boyfriend. She bakes up some of the tastiest looking treats that I have ever seen and even inspired me to try out her cinnamon bun recipe when I saw how good hers looked! This girl is also always doing good deeds and charitable acts! We both started blogging on the same day so today is also her 6 month blogging anniversary!

Ambling & Rambling: This is a Jersey girl with a teenage daughter. Although I don’t know if she has big hair and spray tans, I do know she fits the other stereotypes of New Jersey natives…tough and sassy! This girl says what’s on her mind and it usually has something to do with her waitressing job…and always has me in stitches! She is smart too! She knows a ton about history and can spew out very random facts! Now, normally her writing reflects this tough girl image but she has been known to write a tender piece or two confirming what I believed about her from the beginning…she’s a teddy bear at heart! I adore this lady!

Relax and Float Downstream: Joyce is a busy, working mom to two small children. She is currently living in Florida but grew up in Connecticut. I really love how Joyce writes. She is very smart and her posts really make me think. She is also an amazing cook and baker!

embracingtheinsanity: This lady and I are living parallel lives, only she’s living it in Florida! She is also a stay at home mom and all three of our kids are the same ages! We totally sympathize and understand what each other are going through! This girl is hilarious! Plus someday I hope to have an arranged marriage for her son and my daughter. Her son, on his own, is constantly coming up with different things to do for charity and has been noticed publicly for his actions.

PILLOWS-A-LA-MODE: This is one sewing, crafty lady! Her blog focuses on her different projects but it is also noteworthy to add that she used to be a 1st grade teacher and is now a children’s book author. Most of what she writes is used in schools. So it is very likely that your elementary students are reading her books at their school!

Running the Race: Alison is also a stay at home mom to two small children in Florida. Her family is Christian focused and she is very instrumental in teaching her children about the bible as well as instilling in them the virtues of patience and kindness. She is a truly wonderful mom!

memyselfandkids: This is a dad, who works as a high school teacher on the East Coast. He writes about fatherhood, work, and life in general. He has a very serious tone to his writing and sometimes he’ll throw something in that will make you laugh out loud!

The Sadder But Wiser Girl: Sarah lives in Iowa, admittedly has ADD, anxiety and is currently unemployed. She has an 8 year old son and a 3 year old daughter. She writes about them, her husband and anything else going on around the house. You never know what to expect from Sarah but more than likely it will have you laughing and probably relating! She’s a hoot and I guarantee you will enjoy her craziness!

Shoes On The Wrong Feet: This is a stay at home mom of two boys but she is also the Room Parent for one of her son’s classrooms. Her and her husband live in the country and are having a blast creating memories and fulfilling traditions. Her writing certainly tells the tale of how much love is in their house and how much fun they are having!

Ramblings From A Mum: Jen loves to write! She lives in Australia with her husband and has two daughters in their 20’s. She has written a book called The Empty Nest A Mother’s Hidden Grief. This lady is truly a hoot! She writes poetry, short fictional stories and personal stories. You will definitely get a kick out of her and she is such an encouraging fellow blogger!

Keeping it Real: Anka is a stay at home mom to two small children living on the West Coast. Her daughter is so much like my own and we really relate to each other on so many things. Anka has a journalism degree and her writing is impeccable. She can take such small moments and really draw you in. Her posts are so relatable to so many people and this girl has a heart of gold.

littlepoppits: This lady is also a stay at home mom to three adorable children. She lives in England, raises chickens, loves crocheting, finding vintage treasures and doing creative projects around her home. I love looking at her photos and can relate to her on so many things except she drinks tea and I’m a coffee drinker!

thekovies: This is one funny Grandma! Not only are her posts funny and heartwarming but I look forward to her comments on my posts! They are always hilarious! She writes personal stories about herself growing up, raising her children when they were young and now stories of being a grandma. She’s got a lot of wisdom and insight to share and like I said…she’s funny!

now at home mom: This is a mom living in Canada who recently left the workplace to stay home and raise her 19 month old son. She is so creative and loves to cook and bake! I recently tried her recipe for Tiramisu Cake and had a total flop on my hands! This girl has skills!

Behind the Minds Ear: Meet my husband! He recently started blogging! He majored in education in college and minored in music. He is very passionate about music and will be incorporating music into all of his posts with the addition of personal stories and how they relate to the music.

Now that you have all met, I will have Behind the Minds Ear turn on some good music. Next I’ll have the thing about joan, PILLOWS-A-LA-MODE and littlepoppits decorate my house. Then I will put out all the food that I had Sugar and Spice Baking, Relax and Float Down Stream and now at home mom bring. We can then all get entertained by some stories from The Embiggens Project, The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle and Ambling & Rambling. Perhaps advocatemmmohan aksharaalie and Ramblings From A Mum will recite some poetry for us and then thekovies can take all of us moms and dads with young kids in the corner and tell us about the time her son when he was young stuck maxi pads all over the bathroom wall when the church ladies were over and the time her daughter dug up the dog that was buried in the backyard. My mom would be flitting around talking and laughing and telling everyone how much she loves their blogs. Afterwards, I will thank everyone for attending and we will bid each other adieu and a magic fairy will come and clean up the whole mess!

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I continue to find more blogs I love and am meeting new and interesting people all of the time! I will introduce you to more at my next “virtual party!”

Thanks for stopping by and celebrating with me!

Melissa

My 100th Post And A Secret Revealed

In honor of my 100th post today I thought I would let everyone in on a little secret. Also, I would like to dedicate this post to my mom. She is hands down, the best mom in the world. She is also celebrating her birthday today! I’m so lucky to have her in my life!

I almost flunked my Creative Writing course my senior year in high school. In all actuality I should not have been passed.

I HATED high school.

I had such a hard time sitting still through those classes and focusing. I was the kid in the back of the class playing pranks and cracking jokes. I had some very nice teachers and many of the friends I had in high school are still my friends today. My friends were smart, studious and well-behaved. In fact, my best friend was Class President and Salutatorian of our graduating class. So, the disliking of high school was just due to the fact I couldn’t sit still and could think of a hundred other things I would rather be doing.

This is me, my senior year

My sophomore year of high school I got a job as a receptionist at a large car dealership. I really liked the owners and people I worked with but answering phones was a bit boring. I kept begging people to give me any of their extra work to do while I was in between phone calls. My co-workers happily handed over things that they weren’t able to get done and were suitable for a high school girl.

By my junior year in high school I went from working 17 hours a week to about 35. They had plenty of filing and data entry to keep me busy every day after school and Saturdays. I did very little homework. Somehow I had accumulated enough credits and a high enough GPA that I was eligible to graduate early my senior year. My boss at the car dealership had already been teaching me accounting due to my eager requests to have more work to do after school. When I told him that I was graduating early he offered me a full time position of taking over the accounting for the used car department. I jumped at the opportunity. The pay was really good and it meant I wouldn’t have to go to college.

With the money I had saved from my job, I went and leased a brand new purple S-10 pickup and put a deposit down on an apartment. I was all set to start my adult life and just had to wait a few more weeks until I actually graduated.

I thought everything was in the bag until my Creative Writing teacher approached me one day. She said that there was no way she was going to be able to give me a passing grade because I had only completed 2 essays out of the 15 that were assigned. I had only filled in 3 daily journal entries out of the 50 days that were required. If I didn’t get at least a D in her class I would not get to graduate early. She said I HAD to get an A on the last assignment that was due tomorrow or else she would fail me. The assignment was to write a children’s book. She had given us all a blank book 2 months earlier and had told us to begin working on it right away. I had not so much as thought of a title let alone began writing this.

That night I skipped work and as any normal person does, I sat down to write, illustrate and use a calligraphy pen to write a children’s book that had to be of grade A quality.

Ironically, I wrote about motherhood. The book was a tribute to my own mom. It was my way of letting her know I understood the perils of being my mom. As much as I rebelled and didn’t like her requests and rules; I got it. Now as a mother myself, I understand it all that much more.

My teacher gave me an A+ on this book. She handed me a hand written note as well. She told me I needed to continue to write. It was a very lovely letter and the basic message has stuck with me… I can do things, possibly great things, if I try.

That was 20 years ago. Sadly, I have written very few things creatively until beginning this blog. I feel great remorse for not applying myself in school and giving my teachers and parents such headaches. I hope by writing this blog I have in a small way made up for not completing my assignments and journal entries. I hope I have now truly earned my passing grade.

Here is the book I wrote that basically saved my life:

book cover of my book Fletcher

Fletcher (written and illustrated by me in 1993)

I woke up this morning to the sound of my mom’s screechy voice yelling, “Get up, Fletcher. It’s 7:30. You’re going to be late.”

“Who cares?” is what I thought. Mom had laid clothes out on a chair for me. I found my old, red t-shirt and muddy, worn sneakers and put those on instead. I managed to wet my hair enough so I could comb down all the parts that were sticking up. Mom screamed up the stairs, “Hurry up and come down here so you can eat your breakfast.”

I quick brushed my teeth and went in my room to feed my hamster, Marvin. He was wide awake and spinning on his wheel. I got Marvin a year ago when I was eight. At the time, Dad said I wasn’t old enough to have a pet. He said I’d forget to feed it and it would die. I told him he was wrong and through a little help from mom we convinced him to let me get one. It’s been a year now and I’ve taken real good care of him-not one problem. As I stood there watching Marvin I was interrupted once again by my mom’s scream, insisting I was late. She sounded really mad this time.

I rode the banister down the stairs even though mom always tells me not to because I might break my neck. As I stepped into the kitchen mom immediately began to scream. She asked me, “Why do you always have to be so pokey?” She said she should have named me Dillydally. I wonder what makes moms so crabby. Maybe there’s a crabby mom flu that goes around.

Mom placed a bowl of Fruity-O’s in front of the chair in which I sit every morning. She had to add, “Eat Quick,” as she threw me a spoon.

As soon as I was done I grabbed my backpack and coat and got ready to leave. Mom came into the kitchen with a wool hat in her hand just as I was about to head out. She told me to take the hat with me because the weather was starting to get cold. I told her I was too big for hats, and then slammed the door. Two seconds later mom was hanging out of the house yelling, “If you ever wear that raggedy red shirt and those awful sneakers to school again, you’re grounded.”

As my feet pounded against the pavement, the gears in my brain began to churn. Instead of following this sidewalk to school, as I did every day; I thought of running away…

The sidewalk led me to the jungle where I was a big-game hunter and carried a bow and arrow with me at all times. I was free and there was no one there to yell at me. I made friends with the monkeys and took showers from the elephants. It was a great life until I got hungry. I just couldn’t make those bananas fall down from that tall, towering tree. I tried shaking the tree but it just wouldn’t budge.

Next, I tried climbing the tree but only managed to get a few feet before sliding back down. I tried finding other food closer to the ground but nothing looked familiar and mom always tells me not to eat things that I don’t know what they are. Finally, I gave up and sat next to a lion drinking from a pond. I was really hungry. I wished mom was there to make me something to eat.

I felt the jungle was no place for me so I left and journeyed to the Arctic. There I was a powerful dog sled racer. The dogs and I drove around all day practicing for the big race. Sometimes we would rest, eat and play in the snow together. Life was great until I got cold. My ears, hands and feet started to feel numb. I tried rubbing my hands together and jumping up and down but nothing helped. I wished mom was there to give me a warm hat and mittens.

The Arctic was too cold for me so I traveled to the Oceanside to try my luck at deep-sea fishing. I sat on the end of the dock and dropped my line. I didn’t get many bites but that’s okay because I probably wouldn’t have been able to reel up anything too heavy anyway. When the sun got too hot I would simply jump in the water and swim and dive with the dolphins. I darted in and out of the coral reefs as I played tag with the swordfish. Everything was going wonderful until one day when an older man came up to me on the dock and said, “You’re too young to be a deep-sea fisherman. You’ll have to get off this dock.” No fair. I wished mom was there to tell him I was old enough. She always stuck up for me.

I yelled good-bye to the dolphins and headed for the mountains. The weather was perfect-bright sunshine with a tiny breeze to ease the heat. There was silence as I climbed the steep mountainside. A few hawks and coyotes howled and sang out to me, cheering me on to the top. Everything was peaceful. There was certainly no one up there to yell at me. I considered living here for the rest of my life.

All of a sudden, as my arm was reaching up and I was moving closer to the top my left foot slipped and I felt myself sliding down the mountain. My heart raced as I lost control of my body. Suddenly, my hand reached out to a rock stuck out from the mountain. I gripped it and held on tight. I instantly came to a stop. I had never been so scared before in my whole life. I wished my mom was there, she would have told me that I shouldn’t climb that because it’s too dangerous for me.

“Fletcher? Why are you walking so slowly? Don’t you know you’re going to be late for school? Here, hop in.”

Mom drove up next to me in her car. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see her in all my life. I jumped in with a smile and we headed to school. I had a minute to spare when we arrived. I’m lucky I have a mom or else I would have been late.

I leaned over and kissed my mom good-bye then I ran up to school to meet my friends.

Thank you to everyone who has read my blog Motherhoodisanart! Have a wonderful weekend!

Sincerely,

Melissa

My New Banner

Some of you may have noticed that I recently changed my banner and theme. No need to worry, it’s still the same lady writing. I just wanted a fresh look!

The Fisher Price people and Weebles in my banner are actually my toys that I had as a kid! Since I am celebrating my 37th birthday soon, my guess is that, this puts them at around 35 years old.

My mom reads my blog and I’m sure if I’m not accurate on this statement, she will correct me. The toys could have been my sister or brothers which would add another 10 or so years on them. My mom told me the other day that my post This Is What I Would Give Them was completely inaccurate. First, I had my ages wrong on the pictures I posted and secondly, I could not type at 6 years old. Apparently, I begged for that typewriter for Christmas and they bought it for me. It cost $20, which was very expensive at the time and was a piece of crap. The keys got stuck and when they did work, more often than not, the letters didn’t always reach the paper. We brought it back to the store and I picked out a different toy. So, there you go, take my facts with a grain of salt because accuracy is not my strong suit!

Anyway, I know that I played with these Fisher Price people and Weebles A LOT!!! My mom was kind enough to save these along with many of my other toys and I have since handed them down to my kids to play with.

These are now some of MY kid’s favorite toys!

After, I changed my banner on Saturday, my brother, a clever, creative fellow gave me a great idea! He said I should change my banner from time to time to reflect the different seasons or holidays but to continue using the Fisher Price toys!

So, from now on, you may periodically find my banner changing as my toys pose for different photos! My husband says he may want to feature his Stars Wars figurines he had as a child too! I’m an equal opportunity toy lover so I think this is perfectly acceptable!

Also, I think I am 7 posts away from my 100th post….Look for a different kind of story from me that day…I have something exciting planned!!

Surprises always abound at Motherhood Is An Art!

Have a great day everyone!!

Melissa

For A Change

Today I would like to introduce you all to a friend I have! Her name is Franny Bolsa.

Actually, that is not her real name. She has a real name but she goes by Franny in her blog. You’ll have to read to find out why!

This girl is down to earth, witty and smart! She writes about life and every topic under the sun that everyone can relate to!

She is not on WordPress so subscribe to her via email or her Facebook page!

Click here to meet Franny Bolsa

She will make you laugh, cry and inspire you! Enjoy!!

Have a Great weekend everyone!

Melissa