A Show of Hands Please

A hunched over figure, taking slow, methodical steps made it’s way through the yard as I peered out the window. It appeared to be a crippled old lady, bent over by the years of old age.

In actuality it was my 8 year old daughter a few months ago making her way home from school with the weight of her backpack crumpling her over and slowing her process.

When she entered the house I helped her remove the monstrous backpack and looked inside to find a book the size of Cincinnati. It was entitled “The Encyclopedia of Dogs”.  I asked her where it came from and she replied that she checked it out from the school library that day. Despite being alarmed by the weight and size of this tome, I wasn’t surprised at all by the title and it’s content. For the past year my daughter had been checking out books from the library every week about dogs.

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Books are always coming home about Yorkshire Terriers, Huskies, English Sheep Dogs, how to care for dogs and how to train dogs. This new book was the mother load though as far as information. It contained hundreds of different breeds as well as common problems that exist within each dog. It explained how to get rid of fleas and mites in ears.

When my daughter wants something she goes above and beyond to gain knowledge on the subject and THIS GIRL WANTS A DOG!

I know, I know, you’re reading this and thinking, “Well, get that girl a dog.”

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It does seem like the simple solution to prevent my daughter from breaking her back carrying huge books around but there is so much hesitation behind my willingness to welcome a furry canine into our family. The biggest factor is that I have 3 children who still need so much care and attention. I just don’t think I can take on the responsibility of one more thing at this time. I’ve told my daughter this on numerous occasions and just when I think she understands and is willing to wait a while longer she brings me this hard core sell the other day:

Daughter: I really think having a dog around will make your life easier.

Me: How so?

Daughter: If we have a dog and one of us kids gets hurt you will no longer have to kiss our wounds. The dog can just lick them.

Me: I guess that would be a time saver considering how often you kids fall down and get hurt.

Daughter: If the boys and I are not willing to go get you something when you ask; the dog can do it. Dogs are great at fetching things. Just don’t ask it to get you a can of soda; it’s teeth might puncture the can.

Me: Great point. You and your brothers have been a bit lazy lately.

Daughter: The last thing is; I know that if we have a dog around there will be no more fighting between us kids. We won’t have anything to fight about because there will be a dog here to play with.

Before I can say anything, my 6 year old son comes bounding into the room and asks, “What are you talking about? Did someone say we are getting a dog?’

My daughter pipes in with, “I don’t know, I am trying to convince Mom that getting a dog is a good idea. I told her that if we get a dog that we won’t fight anymore.”

I will let you be the judge if my family should get a dog after you hear the next conversation:

Son: Yes, there would not be anymore fighting. I can walk the dog and she can feed it.

Daughter: No, I’m older so I should walk the dog and you feed it.

Son: THAT’S NOT FAIR! I AM TOO OLD ENOUGH! JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE OLDER DOESN’T MEAN YOU GET TO DO EVERYTHING!

Daughter: OH YEAH MR. POOPY BUTT? YOU WOULD JUST LET GO OF THE LEASH AND THE DOG WOULD RUN AWAY AND THEN WE WOULD NEVER GET ANOTHER DOG AND IT WOULD BE ALL OF YOUR FAULT!

Son: I WOULD NOT! YOU ARE SO MEAN! YOU ARE THE MEANEST SISTER IN THE WHOLE WORLD! IF MOM AND DAD LET US GET A DOG I WOULD HIDE IT FROM YOU SO YOU COULD NEVER SEE IT! IT WOULD BE ALL MINE!

A show of hands please for all those in favor of my family getting a dog!

Iris pic

Super Duper Dumb Arguments

Really DUMB Arguments.

These fill our house on an almost daily basis between my 7 year old Iris and my 5 year old Bency. I think I would be better suited for “real” arguments over sharing or perhaps an occasional fist fight. EASY…send them to their rooms or take away privileges. No, instead I have got stuck with a multitude of dumb arguments.

Here are a few from yesterday and a few of my past favorite arguments!

Early morning argument yesterday:

I can hear escalating loud voices coming from the basement where the two kids are playing. Soon after, I hear pounding feet coming up the stairs and Bency yelling, “I’m going to tell Mom and you’re going to be in BIG trouble.” Bency enters the room I’m in and in a frantic, irritated voice tells me,” Iris doesn’t believe I love her and even though I have told her over and over that I do in fact love her, she won’t believe me.”

Me: “Iris…Bency really, really loves you…PLEASE believe him.” (Seriously, what do I do with that one?)

Early evening argument yesterday:

The kids are playing some imaginary game outside. They have brought out some stuffed animals and are putting them in the outside toy box. Iris is using a baby toy that has different colored keys on it and pretending to free the animals from the toy box by finding the right key. Iris and Bency begin arguing over which key will open the pretend lock…Iris screeches that it is the blue one…Bency tells her she is all wrong and that the only way the animals will be brought to freedom is if she uses the yellow one.

Me: I roll my eyes and walk back in the house. I refuse to get in the middle of imaginary lock and keys.

Argument from when the kids were around 5 years old and 3 years old:

Bency: “MOM!!! Iris is calling me a COFFEE CAT!” (Iris used to pronounce a lot of words wrong and he was indeed a “copy cat.”)

Me: I couldn’t say anything for a good long while because I had to sneak around the corner and laugh for a while.

Another argument from those 5 year old and 3 year old days:

Iris: “Bency, did you know those things that look like mountains. They are called pawncaynos (remember, she mispronounced a lot of words) and they spurt out hot coffee.”

Bency: “Iris, I believe what you are referring to is a VOLCANO and it spews fire which is called lava.”

Me: As much I was enjoying hearing this argument escalate, I did have to set Iris straight.

Iris was mad because she wanted to sit in the middle when I was taking this picture!

The other day I witnessed Bency accidentally bump Cesar (our almost 2 year old) as he was walking past him. It made Cesar lightly bump his head on his highchair. Cesar immediately looked to me and said, “Momma, Momma, Bency did it. Bency hit me head.”

I’m so super excited that little Cesar wants in on the arguing action. May the DUMB arguments never end!!!