I Get It. I Got It. Really. Truly.

“Do you get it?”

“Yep, I got it alright! It’s pretty darn funny!”

“No, I mean did you really get it? How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rock-et (laugh, laugh, laugh)! You know instead of ROCKET, it’s rock-et. Like you’re rocking a baby in a rocking chair. Are you sure you get it?”

“Honey, I really get it. Really. Truly. I totally understand it. It’s so funny. If I could slap my knee any harder it would fall off. The thing I don’t get though is who on earth would put a clearance on a baby to go in outer space. That part doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“Well, maybe it’s dad who is a real astronaut couldn’t find a babysitter so he had to bring his baby to work with him.”

“Yeah, maybe. That sounds about like my luck too.”

And this is how it is now. My 8 year old daughter “gets” jokes finally. I never thought this day would come. For the last two years she has checked out joke books at the library and I have had to explain every single joke and she still could not comprehend them.

Just 6 months ago while going through a knock-knock joke phase she would make up her own jokes. Her favorite was:

Knock, Knock

Who’s There?

Tigger

Tigger who?

Tiggerific

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It doesn’t even make any sense. If I heard that joke once I must have heard it 5000 times and I had to do an obligatory laugh every time she told it. There were days that I often considered dunking my head in a bucket of boiling acid but I held out hope that this phase would soon pass. And it did.

For a fleeting moment I was happy when she finally started “getting” jokes. That is until she started explaining every single one to me and why they were funny. She does not have to tell me why an astronaut’s mid afternoon meal is called “launch” instead of lunch. I get it. It’s so hilarious; now pass me the bucket of boiling acid.

I really should just be content with this new stage. It’s sweet and innocent. It really doesn’t constitute much effort from me except for a hearty laugh every time to let her know “I got it. I really, really got it!”

Besides, I’m sure I’m going to really despise the next stage; the next stage when she “gets” jokes like: “When life gives you lemons, stick them in your bra.”

“Do you get it? Instead of making lemonade you stick them in your bra because your boobs are as flat as pancakes.”

Yep, I got it. Totally get it. It sure is funny. It’s actually Tiggerific!

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The Old Bug Trick

It was going to be GREAT!

It was going to be EPIC!

It was going to go down in history as the funniest moment in our family’s history of all time!

I was so sure April Fool’s Day of 2012 was going to be the best of all that I laid awake the night before giddy with excitement!

I woke up early and prepared the kid’s oatmeal. I then tracked down my son’s little plastic bug and lizard collection and sunk them in the oatmeal with only the heads and antennas poking out!

I grabbed my video camera and called the kids to the table.

I was absolutely certain that oatmeal was going to go flying everywhere. Even though oatmeal is the same equivalency as Super Glue when it comes to trying to clean it off of walls, I didn’t care! This was going to be epic after all so it was the price I was willing to pay.

I was absolutely certain there was going to be screaming. Shrieks so loud and earth-shattering that our neighbors would come knocking on our door out of concern. This was going to be so funny that it was entirely worth it!

The children approached the table and stared into their bowls for a second. Simultaneously, my son and daughter pulled the plastic bug out of their bowl, looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and muttered, “I wonder how toys got into our bowls.”

No oatmeal flying all over. No screaming.

It was an April Fool’s Fail.

Yesterday, April Fool’s Day 2013 rolled around. I actually forgot about it. It’s really not fair that it was the day after Easter, a Monday, and my daughter wasn’t feeling too well. There was just too much going on that I didn’t have time to plan one of my favorite days of the year.

At lunchtime, after I finally realized what day it was, I decided that I was going to try the old bug trick again. Certainly last year had to be a fluke.

I served the kids their lunch and called them to the table. They approached the table and stared into their bowls.

No noodles flying all over. No screaming.

From now on I’m just going to keep these pranks to myself, because in my head it was epic and it was great!

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