Engrave a Ray of Sunshine on my Soul

Is compassion something learned or is it born into us?

I watch the daily interactions between my children. Sometimes I see moments that engrave a ray of sunshine on my soul. Other times I witness acts that make me wonder if solitary confinement is the only way to successfully achieve peace in a house with three small children.

One of those sweet moments of Bency reading to Cesar when he was a baby

We have a basket of blankets in the living room that are for any ones use should they get cold. For some reason my 2 year old, Cesar has formed a strong attachment to the red fleece blanket in the basket. Even though there is an exact matching blue one and my 5 year old son, Bency, doesn’t prefer one over the other he will grab the red one if he sees Cesar entering the room just to start a battle. It’s moments like these that make having more than one child difficult.

But then there’s instances that occur like the one last week. It was my daughter, Iris’s 8th birthday. In the past I have taken Bency to the store to let him pick out a small gift for his sister. However, this year things got busy and I found no time for this outing but I did pick up two ceramic unicorn statues for each boy to give to their sister on her birthday.

As Bency gave Iris her gift I heard him whisper something to her. I saw her give him a smile and a nod. I couldn’t help but to ask what was said. Bency looked at me and in the sweetest voice said, “I told her that I had really wanted to buy her a unicorn swimsuit. Maybe someday I can get that for her.”

Those words melted my heart.

Iris does love unicorns and a honestly, she really does need a swimsuit for this summer. It would have been the perfect gift and this sweet, little 5 year old boy knew that because he loves her and knows his sister so well.

Two days ago another touching moment occurred.

Normally I help Cesar brush his teeth in the morning. When he requested my help Saturday morning I told him I was busy and to hold on a minute. Bency immediately piped in with, “I can help Cesar brush his teeth.” I was a bit taken back by his offer because Bency has not really shown any nurturing qualities in the past but I agreed that he could help.

I noticed that the boys had been in the bathroom quite awhile so I decided to go check in.

When I peeked in, I saw Cesar sitting on the stool and Bency sitting there lightly brushing Cesar’s hair. Bency looked up and said, “I already brushed his teeth but I’m just trying to get his hair looking good too.”

As I stood there speechless just taking in that moment, Bency also asked if he could help Cesar get dressed for they day. I proceeded to witness Bency remove Cesar’s pajamas and help him into his shorts and button-down plaid shirt.

Bency wasn’t always a hands on kind of brother. Sometimes he would ask, “What’s wrong little guy?”

Later that day, my two older children and I went to the grocery store. As I pulled in, I noticed an old lady struggling to push her shopping cart across the parking lot. By the time I got parked and got the children out of the van, she had made her way to her car. I immediately went over to her and asked if she would like help putting her bags in her car. She said she did.

I helped her and we talked for a few minutes before the kids and I headed into the store. I did not discuss this with my children and they did not bring it up.

Should I have explained why I did this or do my children already know.

To lend a hand when you can. To lend a smile or a nice word. To buy a unicorn swimsuit…or at least tell someone you would if you could!

You’re never too small to lend a helping hand

 

Super Duper Dumb Arguments

Really DUMB Arguments.

These fill our house on an almost daily basis between my 7 year old Iris and my 5 year old Bency. I think I would be better suited for “real” arguments over sharing or perhaps an occasional fist fight. EASY…send them to their rooms or take away privileges. No, instead I have got stuck with a multitude of dumb arguments.

Here are a few from yesterday and a few of my past favorite arguments!

Early morning argument yesterday:

I can hear escalating loud voices coming from the basement where the two kids are playing. Soon after, I hear pounding feet coming up the stairs and Bency yelling, “I’m going to tell Mom and you’re going to be in BIG trouble.” Bency enters the room I’m in and in a frantic, irritated voice tells me,” Iris doesn’t believe I love her and even though I have told her over and over that I do in fact love her, she won’t believe me.”

Me: “Iris…Bency really, really loves you…PLEASE believe him.” (Seriously, what do I do with that one?)

Early evening argument yesterday:

The kids are playing some imaginary game outside. They have brought out some stuffed animals and are putting them in the outside toy box. Iris is using a baby toy that has different colored keys on it and pretending to free the animals from the toy box by finding the right key. Iris and Bency begin arguing over which key will open the pretend lock…Iris screeches that it is the blue one…Bency tells her she is all wrong and that the only way the animals will be brought to freedom is if she uses the yellow one.

Me: I roll my eyes and walk back in the house. I refuse to get in the middle of imaginary lock and keys.

Argument from when the kids were around 5 years old and 3 years old:

Bency: “MOM!!! Iris is calling me a COFFEE CAT!” (Iris used to pronounce a lot of words wrong and he was indeed a “copy cat.”)

Me: I couldn’t say anything for a good long while because I had to sneak around the corner and laugh for a while.

Another argument from those 5 year old and 3 year old days:

Iris: “Bency, did you know those things that look like mountains. They are called pawncaynos (remember, she mispronounced a lot of words) and they spurt out hot coffee.”

Bency: “Iris, I believe what you are referring to is a VOLCANO and it spews fire which is called lava.”

Me: As much I was enjoying hearing this argument escalate, I did have to set Iris straight.

Iris was mad because she wanted to sit in the middle when I was taking this picture!

The other day I witnessed Bency accidentally bump Cesar (our almost 2 year old) as he was walking past him. It made Cesar lightly bump his head on his highchair. Cesar immediately looked to me and said, “Momma, Momma, Bency did it. Bency hit me head.”

I’m so super excited that little Cesar wants in on the arguing action. May the DUMB arguments never end!!!