Pajamas and Bad Breath Are Fine With Me

Today my 7 year old daughter, Iris woke up crabby and tired. She had no interest in eating the breakfast that was waiting on the table for her. She went directly from her bed to the couch and cocooned herself in a blanket.

I ignored her and waited a few minutes before requesting that she get moving.

She did go eat but then plopped herself back on the couch. I told her she couldn’t lie on the couch and that it was time for her to get dressed and brush her teeth.

In her whiniest voice she spewed, “But Mooommm, I’m too tired to get dressed and brush my teeth.”

In the sweetest voice I could muster I replied, “That’s fine honey, I have no problem with you going to school in your light blue footy pajamas with pink elephants on them and with bad breath. It doesn’t affect me either way how you present yourself at school but in 20 minutes you are leaving.”

She huffed off into the bathroom to groom herself but began sputtering, “I never get to watch television anymore. I’m tired and just want to stay home watching TV all day.”

I walked into the bathroom and in my sweetest voice said, “I understand sweetheart, let me shoot an email to your teacher today and request she let you watch some shows today at school.”

Iris’s eyes got huge and she came back with a slightly terrified voice, “But Moooommm, the teacher would not go along with that. Please don’t email her.”

While I was busy brushing my own hair I said, “No, I think you’re wrong. You’ve said yourself that your teacher is amazing and really nice. I’m sure she won’t have a problem letting you watch My Little Pony instead of doing addition and subtraction today. She seems like a very reasonable lady and THIS is a very reasonable request.”

Iris stood stunned for a few moments trying to come up with a reason I should cease and desist any of my further actions to possibly embarrass her for life. Her next statement was “Well, she doesn’t let us whistle. My older cousin said my teacher has let kids whistle in her class in the past and this has never happened. There has NOT been any whistling in class.

I looked at Iris, nodded my head and agreed that a teacher who does not conduct whistling sessions in class will certainly not allow the viewing of My Little Pony.

I told her I would scratch my intervention idea but to hurry up and get ready for school.

Five minutes later, Iris was ready to go to school with a smile on her face and a big hug and kiss for me!

The moral of this story is: If you want to be a superior teacher, allow whistling in your classroom. Your students will think you are amazing!

Picture of Iris wearing the pajamas I almost sent her to school wearing today

Guest Blogger: 2 Year Old Cesar

Hi my name is Cesar! I’m two years old today! My mom normally does the writing on here but today I thought I would give the world a little insight into what it’s like to be the youngest kid in this family.

This is me writing this blog

First of all, I have an older sister, Iris, age 7 and an older brother, Bency age 5. They can be real pains in the butt sometimes. They rarely let me play with them. Something about I’m not old enough to play board games and that I always knock down or mess up the creations they build. Yet, for my birthday I got some really cool toys that they are dying to get their hands on. If they even look at my toys with any hint of enthusiasm I make a loud screech and mom comes and tells the big kids to get away from MY toys!

Me with my sister and brother

Being the youngest kid I get to experience things at a much younger age than my brother and sister did. For example when my siblings were 2 years old they could only use crayons to color with. Let me tell you….CRAYONS ARE FOR BABIES!!  I found these markers in my brother’s room and these are much better to color with. I now have located them in various other places in the house too and let me tell you….MARKERS ARE THE BOMB! You can color all over your body with them….try doing that with a crayon!

me having to color with crayons….blah

Thanks to an older sister I have been introduced to all kinds of great musical talent. Justin Bieber is my favorite. My mother is slightly irritated with me that I have no interest in learning Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. I guess this is what she tortured my older brother and sister with when they were 2 years old.

My older brother and sister are now both in school. It’s nice to have lots of time to myself with mom but the terrible thing is all the chores have fallen on me now. What my sister and brother did all summer is all up to me. Mom has me dusting, swiffering, cooking and vacuuming all the time now. It’s total crap. I actually wouldn’t mind the vacuuming so much if she gave me a REAL vacuum… but no….she has me using a toy vacuum. Who does she think she’s kidding?? I know I’m not actually picking up dirt. I’m just her pet monkey pushing around a little toy.

Me doing all of the housework

Listen up fellow 2 year olds; I have some great advice for you! Apparently there’s a rumor going around that once kids hit 2 years old, we start having tantrums and other irritating behaviors. I am not going to succumb to this stereotype. Tantrums and whining get you nowhere. I’ve seen my siblings whine. My mom is super tough. She just ignores them. If they continue, she sends them to their room. My brother and sister are such idiots.

Cookies are my life!

Here’s a secret for you. I have an ADDICTION. It’s to cookies. I don’t just want them….I NEED COOKIES! I have learned that whining and tantrums do not work. What you have to do is look really cute, smile and say, “Cookie Pweese!” More often than not this works. If you ask for more than one in an hour though; this tactic may not work. My mom becomes a total liar and says, “the cookies are all gone honey.” Seriously, who does she think she’s dealing with? I know she’s lying! Unfortunately calling her out on lying is not a good choice either, so I go with Plan B. This plan requires you to feign a headache. To feign a headache you simply put your hands up to your forehead and say “cooooookieeee” in a low moaning voice. Do NOT confuse this with whining. Whining has a high pitch to it. Keep your voice low and pathetic…almost like you’re dying. My mom falls for this every time! I think she can sympathize with headaches…she gets them all of the time when my brother and sister whine.

This is how to fake a headache

Well, I guess that’s all for today. Mom says I have to go take a “birthday” nap. Naps are so dumb. I have better things to do. I’ve been trying for the last year to figure out how to open up all of the doors. I’ve almost got it. I just need a little more time and I’ll be able to break FREE!!!

Someone stay on the look out for Mom….I’ve almost got it!!

I’m sure you’ll be hearing more about me in the future when my mom writes more on here. If she mentions anything about me having tantrums or bad behavior….Don’t believe it!!! Remember she’s a complete liar. I know we have a fully stocked cupboard of cookies! On that note, also give me the heads up if my mom mentions anything about taking me to “cookie rehab.” I think I’m skating on thin ice with this addiction. Every time she says we’re going to the grocery store, I get a sick feeling in my stomach that “grocery store” might actually be code for rehab facility. I think I better get this addiction thing under control before she does something drastic.

Happy 2nd Birthday to ME!!!!

Bye!!! See Ya!!! I Lub You!!!

Cesar

Good Bye!!