Thick As Thieves

A few weeks ago, I saw my 7 year old daughter, Iris, and my 5 year old son, Bency walking up the driveway from their walk home from school. Iris was slightly bent over carrying something about the size of a newborn baby. After further inspection I realized it was a huge chunk of ice.

As they entered the house I inquired about the 15 lb. block that Iris deposited in our backyard. She said Bency found it on the sidewalk 2 blocks away and really wanted it, but he wasn’t strong enough to carry it home so she did it for him. She stated this with a bit of exasperation and an eye roll.

This little tidbit of information made my heart sing. I know that sounds crazy. Why would anyone be excited about a block of ice?

You see there was a time when I wasn’t sure how the relationship between Iris and Bency was going to play out. Iris could be very bossy and controlling. Take for example this conversation I overheard in 2009:

Iris: “Bency, what headband do you want to wear?”

Bency: “No, headband Iris.”

 Iris: (in an irritated, louder voice): “I SAID, WHAT HEADBAND DO YOU WANT TO WEAR?”

 Bency (in a forlorn voice): “The pink one Iris.”

Iris making Bency dress up in 2009

Iris making Bency dress up in 2009

Iris dressed Bency up for an adventure...she even made him wear her shoes

Iris dressed Bency up for an adventure…she even made him wear her shoes

Iris made Bency dress up like the Tooth Fairy

Iris made Bency dress up like the Tooth Fairy

I took this as a sign that Bency would forever bow down to his big sister and forever be sentenced to a life of playing tea party and dress up. Over time they have found their balance and it has been a relationship of give and take between the two. Bency no longer is submitted to dressing up like a girl and Iris indulges him by playing Super Heroes and dinosaurs. They are partners in crime and thick as thieves.

Iris & Bency summer 2012

Iris & Bency summer 2012

Last winter, Iris and Bency had the bathroom occupied for a long time applying temporary tattoos. Bency abruptly ran out and started heading upstairs. I asked where he was going and he said he was suddenly very tired and needed a nap (unheard of). Later I discovered a lower of three shelves holding towels in the bathroom was knocked down. I questioned both children and no one knew what happened but kept giving each other sideways glances. I then told them I would be reviewing the video footage from my secret spyware. Bency caved at this point, throwing his hands to his forehead shouting, “I confess, I confess. It was me.”

Why didn’t Iris give him up when she had the chance? Maybe she knew this was in her future:

A few months ago, the children had been playing in Bency’s room. A few days later I noticed the black wrought iron curtain rod bent down on one side that I’m sure could have only been caused by someone swinging or pulling on Bency’s cowboy printed curtain. When I asked Iris and Bency about this they tried to mask their guilt with a halfhearted attempt of disbelief and shock. I got nowhere with my continued questioning or little white lie of reviewing my secret spyware.

Later that night, my husband called the kids into the living room to ask them about the bent curtain rod. Both kids stood in front of him with their arms behind their backs and again claimed their innocence and tried their best to act appalled that anyone would possibly think it was one of them. As they stood there fumbling with their words and sweat starting to pop out on their brow; Bency put his arm down to his side and nudged Iris. Iris then grasped Bency’s hand and I saw Bency give her hand a squeeze and give her a look out of the corner of his eye.

My husband and I both witnessed this and we looked at each other with an amusing smile. I had to leave the room before I exploded with laughter and my husband dismissed them from the room.

Later than night, Iris came to us and admitted it had been her and that she was sorry she had pulled on the curtain.

We weren’t mad. In fact we were happy (we didn’t let her know that). It was amazing to see that show of support from Bency; that little squeeze of her hand to signal that he had her back and he wasn’t about to give her up for nothing.

Everyone needs someone in their life to give their hand a squeeze during hard times and to carry the load when things get too heavy. We all need someone to have our back. We all need a partner in crime.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

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58 responses

  1. It really is awsome when you see your kids get along so well. I am not even sure why or how to explain it. I love seeing my kids get along with each other.
    My mom has told me many times about some of the last words my grandmother spoke to her. Essentially my mom took the words to mean that she should always be close with her siblings. Anytime, I have something to say about my brothers, you can bet I hear about this. I actually blogged about it. If you want, I’ll send you the link.
    Very cool that Bency and Iris have grown closer. They sound like a good team.

  2. Really sweet! I often wonder how my older daughter and son will interact when they are older. At 3 and 1.5 they are buddies, but my daughter can be bossy for sure! I also liked your post about Bency and Caesar – a lot of different family dynamics. Fun!

    • Thank you! It is fun watching it all play out! Truly never a dull moment!!! With your daughter being the oldest she may be like Iris and have that natural mothering instinct which can be nice when they help comfort and take care of the little ones but can be a nuisance too when they get so bossy!!

    • Thank you Ingrid! I found it unbelievable too! They get into plenty of fights and are quick to tell me if someone sticks out their tongue or says something mean but they must have thought this was such a terrible offense that they didn’t want me to get super mad!!!

  3. Loved this post! It’s really sweet to see them cover for each other. I’m starting to see the relationship develop between my 2 kids too. Wonderful feeling! You must be so proud of your children 🙂

  4. Your kids are adorable! Ahh the ups and downs of a brother and sister relationship! Whenever I was about young, my sister was coloring on her bed while I jumped up and down on it. She must not have liked that, because next thing I know she smashed my head off her bedpost, something like the WWE. Now we get along quite well, but I’m sure that now that I’m 28 and her 32, she would still like to smash my head off of a bedpost every now and then.

  5. That is just too sweet. I know how you feel – It’s very touching to see your kids love each other. . Also, my daughter is bossy too – and she’s two years old, four years younger than my son! Must be a girl thing.

    • Oh yes it is wonderful when it happens! Bency and my 2 year old son do not have this kind of partnership…it’s almost like Iris and Bency are a clique and the 2 year old is going to have to work his way in! haha!! Oh well, they’re still young…there’s still plenty of time!

  6. I loved reading this! My children are only 3 years and 9 months, but I can already see some covering up for each other in their futures. My daughter already pipes up, when the baby is caught with something he isn’t supposed to have, “He’s just a baby. He doesn’t know better!”. lol

  7. I think it’s wonderful that Bency and Iris are partner’s in crime. Do you think there’s a chance of letting Cesar in on the action? Also, I’m going to adopt that secret spyware line. This will help reduce the number of shenanigans in my house!

    • Cesar’s going to have to step it up! Yesterday, a decorative plate in the dining room got broke while all three kids were in there. As soon as I heard the crash I went running and Bency and Iris immediately pointed at Cesar and said he did it. I am kind of suspicious about this! I have a feeling Bency was running around the room and knocked it down. Of course Cesar is too young to put through a line of questioning so I just let it go. He’s going to have to expand his vocabulary or else he is going to get blamed for everything! I really wish I did have that spy ware in the house!!!

  8. HOW CUTE… this story reminds me of when I was small. I was afraid of my closet, so mom decided to change something scary to something nice. She said don’t be afraid Angels live in your closet, that’s the noise you hear. So soon enough I wasn’t afraid. So when my sister and I did something, and we’d clam up, she would say if you don’t tell the truth, I will ask the Angels what happened? OH No she can’t ask the Angels, we might as well tell the truth. That was the 1980’s spy ware. Love it. So happy to hear how there relationship is evolving. Your words paint a picture of love and friendship. I’m so happy they are growing up close. Wait till Cesar jumps in. They will be the three MUSKETEERS. ..

    • I love the Angels in the closet story! That is really great! Thanks for giving me a new idea….the kids aren’t really buying into my spyware trick anymore….I’ve overused it so it’s time to move on to something new!

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