We Broke Our Mom

Hi Everybody! This is Cesar, my mom’s almost 3 year old son. She normally writes here at Motherhood Is An Art but for the last few weeks my mom has been broken.

My name is Cesar!

My name is Cesar!

Last year I also wrote a piece on my 2nd birthday. It was one of my mom’s most read posts. Seeing as I have quite a way with words I thought I would fill in here for my mom and give you some insight as to what is going on at our house.

As I mentioned, I am going to be 3 years old in a few weeks. I also have an 8 year old sister and a 6 year old brother.

My brother Bency and sister Iris

My brother Bency and sister Iris

Together, we broke my mom.

It was a slow and gradual process but we put up an united front. By the last few weeks of summer we had officially “driven her up a wall”. There was a lot of walking out of the room to take deep breaths or her just standing and staring at us while her face twitched and turned beet red. There were also the sudden outbursts of long tangents with incoherent sentences about, “No one listens to me. No one appreciates anything.”

You could see my mom slowing cracking as she heard my older siblings fight for the 50th time over who got to be the dog in the Monopoly game.

You could see her mood change drastically when she made a big batch of refrigerator pickles with my sister while my brother was upstairs watching Phineas and Ferb. When my brother came down and discovered his sister got to make pickles he whined, “It’s not fair that I didn’t get to make pickles. You just love Iris more.”

My mom relented and let Bency make pickles too even though we already had more than enough. That batch managed to leak all over the inside of the refrigerator and my mom had to spend hours cleaning up the sticky vinegar and sugar brine. Plus, no one even likes the pickles.

She began teetering on the tipping point when all of us kids wouldn’t eat the big watermelon she purchased. Even though it was a seedless variety, my sister said the little white seeds were making her gag. My brother and I followed suit and pretended to gag too and refused to eat the red, sweet flesh.

Because my mom didn’t want to see it go to waste she pureed up the rest of the watermelon and made popsicles with it. We all took two licks of those frozen pops and deemed those gross too. Mom huffed and puffed and told us to go put them in the kitchen sink to melt. We all fought to get to the sink first and our popsicles fell to the floor and drips of the sticky substance splattered all over.

Someone made the mistake of asking for a different and better snack.

The day before school started my parents took us all out for miniature golf. On the 2nd hole I managed to fall into the water trap. I began screaming… not so much because I was hurt but because I was certain this was the straw that would break the camel’s back. I was sure this would put my mom over the edge. But as my mom pulled me off the concrete alligator as the water rushed over me I heard a sound I had not heard in a long time. It was my mom laughing! Instead of going on a ramble about how there always has to be some glitch in everything we do…she laughed as she pulled algae out of my hair. I thought it was a bit inappropriate seeing as her 2 year old had just experienced a harrowing ordeal but it was nice to see the sparkle in her eye and I began to laugh with her too. I didn’t even complain when I had to golf the next 16 holes sopping wet.

My mom laughing at me after I fell in the water

My mom laughing at me after I fell in the water

My mom is coming around and getting back to her old self. Although I noticed last night when I sneaked in the kitchen and stole a cookie without finishing my supper she started to say, “What do you think you’re doing?” and instead just finished with a “Whatever” as she shook her head in a tired, defeated way as her eye twitched a few times.

Maybe I’ll wait until later to tell her I pooped my pants and hid the underwear in the toy box.

Take care folks and I promise to start being really good so my mom can get back here real soon!


44 responses

    • Yes! It was definitely time for the kids to go back to school for both our sakes! The underwear part is actually the only thing that really didn’t happen but it wouldn’t surprise me at this point because his potty training is not going well!

  1. I remember these days, but they last for just a moment. I had 4 children and remember the stress at times. You have my sympathy in the moment but I know you love your children and these stressy times will pass in a flash. Hang in there.

    • I don’t know if I can handle anymore Colleen! This weekend we went to an amusement park and within 2 minutes of being there Cesar got his first bee sting. I thought for sure we would have to turn around and go right home but he said he was fine and stuck it out! Thank goodness that at least he’s a tough kid despite keeping us all on our toes!

      • Okay….mom’s do know when they have had enough. And when it gets to that point….the children need to learn that one rule of life that never changes: when mom’s not happy no one’s happy. They need to start making mom happy! 😉

  2. Wow, I understand! I think I even used that phrase with L and A–“you broke Mommy”! It sure feels that way sometimes. L went back to school on Aug. 14 and the routine has definitely helped all of us. Thanks for some good laughs, and you know I laugh with sympathy AND empathy! I love your posts, Melissa. –Alison

  3. So Melissa, according to Cesar you’re saying I’m not the only one who went looney this summer? I’m trying to get caught up on some of my favorite blogs this weekend since I’ve been such a terrible blogging friend lately by going back to work.

    It looks like you (Melissa, not Cesar) and I maybe need to meet for a drink. 😉

  4. Ha ha ha…….. oh my, Cesar is very clever……… tell your Mom its only going to get better !! Glad to see she is still with wonderful sense of humor !! 😉

  5. I’m glad to hear that she is coming around again Cesar. Tell your mom I understand her pain. My two little angels know that I’m broken when I start talking to there school pictures instead of them, since the pictures are listening as well as they are!

  6. I am now convinced that Ceasar and company are secretly communicating and conspiring with my children and many many others. Good luck mommy! And Ceasar…well…that was some great writing coming from a toddler!

  7. Cesar have you and my son secretly been working together? It sounds like a conspiracy . . . asking for cookies before finishing dinner, poop outside of the toilet. What’s next? Let’s hope nothing for your mom’s sake. She’s got a birthday party to plan!

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